The Only Star // Kylo Ren x Reader

Chapter 12

You find yourself stumbling back to the TIE fighter, sand filling your boots and scratching your legs. You needed to fly it closer to your temporary home so you could access it quickly if necessary. It flies close enough to the sand that it kicks up golden puffs in its wake, and this forces you to land a little farther from the boy's hut than you had hoped.

You walk around the tiny cabin and shuffle through your stormtrooper uniform, looking for your smaller blaster. The uniform clacks loudly as it moves, and a piece of it falls onto your foot.
"Ow," you crinkle your nose and bend over, expecting to pick up a piece of your uniform. Instead, your hand fumbles around a metal cylinder. The second you touch it, your heart contracts and your mind is filled with a bright light. Through this light, you can see Kylo holding his lightsaber in the training room while you stand across from him, holding a similar weapon.

You freeze.

This was your lightsaber.

Quickly picking it up, your hands shake as you press the button that ignites the saber, and the tiny ship is filled with a bright red light. Your arm itches to swing the lightsaber around, but you know you shouldn't, considering you are inside of a tiny space that just so happens to be your only way off of Tatooine. Turning off the lightsaber, you clip it onto the waist of your black pants before slinging a bag filled with your stormtrooper uniform over your shoulder.

•••

"You can set your bag over there." The boy gestures to a distant part of his little hut. You shake your head and think about how this will be as distant as you will be able to get from this stranger because his house is about the size of your quarters back on Starkiller Base. "So you're a stormtrooper, huh?" He looks up at you from his chair with wide, bright eyes. They gleam with excitement and curiosity. There's no doubt in your mind that he is intrigued by you.
Instead of responding, you stride over to your space and dump your bag onto your makeshift bed before carefully picking up each individual piece of your uniform and polishing it with the sleeve covering your elbow.
"That's pretty cool, I always wanted to fight for something I believe in. What's it like out there?" He nods his head upward, gesturing towards the sky.
You don't respond. Your head tilts down as you discreetly roll your eyes and grit your teeth.
"I take it you don't talk much. It's okay, because I can just speak enough for the both of us—"
Standing abruptly, the shoulder piece of your uniform clatters to the ground. He freezes and stares at you, fear rippling through the air. You point at him accusingly.
"Listen, boy. I don't want to be here with you, I don't want to be on this damn planet, and I most certainly don't want to engage in friendly conversation with you." You had counted off each statement with a finger on your right hand. "So shut up and keep to yourself."
For a moment, the hut is completely silent. His face is red, you assume from embarrassment because of the immense amount of emotion taking over his mind, and he looks down at his feet.
"My name is Gaines." His voice barely raises above a whisper, and you have to bend over at the waist a little before you can actually hear what he is saying.
Before you allow yourself to feel the slightest bit of regret for being so rude, you stand up straight and narrow your eyes.
"I don't care."
Turning around, you bend over to pick up your shoulder piece and feel his eyes on you. You can hear his chair scratch on the dirt floor as he stands.
"Come on now, that's not fair." His voice is verge on whiny now.
You turn your head over your shoulder to look at him ridiculously. You knit your eyebrows together in frustration.
"I at least deserve to know your name! After everything I've done for you so far, you won't even tell me your name. I could've left you for dead out there—"
"I could've easily defended myself. I'm trained to kill."
He scoffs and gestures towards you with an open hand. "Oh, please. Look at you. You're not a killer."
You turn to face him and glare into his eyes. Standing tall, the top of your head still only reaches his thick, dark eyebrows.
"You don't know me."
You throw your stormtrooper uniform onto your bed and brush past Gaines, shoving his shoulder so he falls into the wall. You internally thank yourself for bulking up for the past couple weeks and making up for the weight you had lost prior. Ducking out of the short doorway, you are almost knocked back by the wall of hot, dry air that greets you. Taking a deep breath, you walk. You don't know where you're walking, or why you're walking, but you don't care.

All you can think about is Kylo.

You think of the way you found each other for the second time. It wasn't all beautiful and perfect at once, it took time for you to warm up to each other again. It's strange how being so near to someone that is as powerful with the force as you are is so satisfying. Almost as if they filled a hole that you didn't know you had, and now that you were separated again, that hole was empty, void of anything but sadness.
You had felt this void before, the first time he left after he had killed all of your friends. You ached inside, and almost lost all will to function. This is what you feel now, that same grief. It infuriates you. Snoke had done this, he had forced you and Kylo to be separated several times, but this time you would be sure to remember clearly. Anger flows through your veins at the thought of Snoke, and you scream, grabbing and igniting your lightsaber. It's bright red light glares off of your face as you swing it into a large rock in front of you over and over again, letting the anger run its course. Breathing heavily, your hands clench around the hilt of the saber as your arms drag it through the rock.
Stepping back, you spit into the sand next to your feet and turn off the lightsaber, staring at the mass of destruction in front of you. Your chest heaves from the strenuous task and your teeth grit as hot tears stream down your face.

Kylo.

He was all you had ever wanted. You could have fallen in love, conquering and bringing order to the Galaxy. You could have watched your enemies suffer at your feet as they finally realize that the ways of The First Order were right all along, and that you were the ones doing the good.
You collapse to your knees, sweating from the extreme exercise, anger, and the heat radiating off of the deformed rock in front of you. You bury your face in your hands, grimacing as you cry over the loss of your loved one. Looking at your lightsaber, a thought crosses your mind. What is the point of living a life in which you can never be with the one you love? Quickly, you dismiss the thought as irrational and turn your attention back to your grief.

You become aware of someone walking up behind you, and you instinctively grab your lightsaber before standing and whirling around. A tall creature stands in front of you, his grotesque, wrinkled skin weathered from the intense sunlight. He takes in your body, glancing at you up and down, and you back up, glaring at him in disgust.
"You are a nice one, my business will be good with you. They will pay well for a human."
It doesn't take you long to realize what type of business he runs. You inhale sharply.
"You're a disgusting creature. Leave me alone." You speak sternly, but it only makes him laugh as he reaches to grab your arm.
Before he even makes contact with you, you turn on your lightsaber and plunge it through his abdomen. He steps back in shock, but it's too late. The life leaves his eyes as he falls stiffly to the ground. You back up slowly before you start running. Who knows what kind of trouble you will be in now?

Turning around a large, cliff-like rock, you bump into something hard and stumble backwards, kicking sand up in front of you. Gaines looks down at you with intense fear in his eyes as you stand and regain your composure, lightsaber still in hand. You can sense the horror and terror that is running through his mind.
You take a step closer to him, turning off your lightsaber.
"Gaines—"
With each step you take, he scrambles back several, leaning against the giant rock for support.
"S-stay away from me!" He stutters, and you exhale sharply, pursing your lips.
"I'm not going to hurt you."
"Tell that to the man you just killed!"
Anger begins to creep into your mind, and you attempt to keep it from showing. Your left fist clenches and your right tightly grips the hilt of your lightsaber.
"You don't know anything about what he said to me."
"It doesn't matter! You won't even tell me your name and you just murdered someone in cold blood!"
"Stop—"
"No, I will not stop. You can go back and pack your things."
You stare at him wide eyed. He had just kicked you out of the only place you had to stay. Your vision blurs and you can only hear the roaring of blood in your ears.
Gaines must sense your anger because he backs up even farther.
"I was wrong about you. You are a killer."