infidel (joshler)

Chapter 3

Tyler and Josh had been best friends for years. Josh was always the happy one, who made Tyler get out of the house and do fun things. Josh, who dyed his hair fun colours and made Tyler laugh, even on the worst of days. Tyler was the sad one. He had struggled with so much. He had sat through countless meetings with different therapists, all trying to figure out why Tyler had voices in his head that told him to hurt people, to make them bleed, to watch as the life left their eyes and blood ran onto his hands. Tyler had sat through endless tormenting at school, on the rare occasions he did go. He was the freak, a heathen, some kids called him. He was hated. And he hated them. Josh had stuck up for him. Josh had endured his own torment from the people wanting to end his best friend.

Josh didn't care that Tyler had problems. He knew that Tyler would never hurt him. He knew that underneath everything wrong, Tyler was a good person, and didn't want to hurt anyone. He wanted to be free from the blurries, he called them, and on days that they weren't bothering him, he was the best friend that Josh knew and loved with all his heart. There was one day in particular, Josh could remember, when Tyler had texted nothing, had not logged onto anything, and he was worried.

He biked to Tyler's house, his head running through every scenario and how he could help. There were no cars in the driveway. Tyler's siblings all had cars, but not Tyler, even if he was the oldest. The doctors didn't want him hitting people with the pinkish car he always talked about. Josh unlocked the door with the spare key he always kept in his pocket. He called out Tyler's name, to no response. He knew he was here, however. Tyler never went out.

*trigger warning starts here*

Josh sprinted up the stairs, calling Tyler's name. He checked every room, until the only one left was the guest bedroom, with the blue walls that Tyler loved. He opened the door, and dropped to his knees.

Tyler sat in the middle of the square room, blood all around him. His wrists were torn to shreds, as well as the skin on his rib cage and his chest. His shirt was discarded in the corner, and he sat there silently, watching the blood flow from the cuts that were made by the large knife sitting next to him. His dad always forgot to put those knives in the proper drawer, the one Tyler couldn't get into.

"Tyler. Tyler, look at me." Josh tried to keep his voice steady, but it was hard as he watched his best friend lose more blood with every second. Josh gripped Tyler's hand. Tyler's eyes, darker than usual, glanced up at him.

"I'm sorry." Tyler went back to looking solemnly at his wrists. Josh grabbed the knife from beside Tyler, and put it up on a high shelf in the bathroom, where Tyler would never climb. He grabbed towels, and wrapped Tyler in them.

"Ty, we've got to get you to the hospital or something. You're bleeding out." Josh's voice wavered. He couldn't let Tyler know how scared he was. He was always strong for Tyler.

"No Josh! We aren't going anywhere!" Tyler screamed and tried to writhe away from his friends grip.

"They don't like it when we go places! It scares them! And it scares me." Tyler began to cry. Josh wiped away tears with the back of his hand.

"Who, Tyler?" He said softly.

"The blurries. They don't like it. They don't like me. They like watching me get hurt. They were the ones that did this. They did. Didn't they, Josh?" Tyler looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"I know it was them. It's okay Tyler. Now let's try and get you bandaged up." He took Tyler's hand, arms still wrapped in towels, and they looked around the house for anything that could help Tyler out. He gave him a few Advil, as they had nothing else in the house so Tyler couldn't take too much of something. They found gauze, and Tyler sat on the side of the tub, watching with sad eyes as Josh gently wrapped Tyler's arms and chests in the thin white material.

"Josh?"

"Yes, Ty?"

"Are you scared of me?" Josh looked up at him.

"I'm not scared of you, Tyler. I just don't like seeing you get hurt."

Silence, as Josh continued to wrap the gauze tighter, blood seeping through and turning the sterile white scarlet.

*trigger warning ends here*

"Josh?"

"Yes, Tyler?"

"Do you love me?" Josh sat back on his heels.

"What kind of love?" Tyler shrugged.

"Like, love love. Like, I want to be with you forever, love." Tyler wrung his hands together. He was nervous. The blurries liked it when he was nervous.

Josh took a second in responding. His breath was heavy. His eyes met Tyler's.

"Ty, I've never told anyone this, not you, not my mom, no one. But I think I do. I think I have for a long time and I just didn't want to admit it." Josh looked as if a weight had been lifted off of his chest. Tyler let out a giggle.

"I love you too, Josh." A smile crept across his face.

"Josh? Do you think you could do me a favour?" He swung his legs back and forth, legs hitting the tub.

"Of course Tyler."

"Could you kiss me? No one ever has before." Josh smiled, and motioned for Tyler to sit on the tiled floor next to him. They turned to face eachother. Josh seemed nervous, and so was Tyler. There seemed to be a moment where they were suspended in time, and then Josh's lips were on Tyler's and Tyler's hand was on the back of Josh's neck and Josh's arm wrapped around Tyler's waist and everything smelled like Josh and he had never been so happy before. Josh broke the kiss first.

"Was that okay? If you're uncomfortable or anything just tell me, okay?" Tyler let out another giggle.

"It was amazing." Tyler grabbed Josh's face with both hands and smashed their lips together again. They smiled into the kiss, and Tyler wanted this moment to last for as long as he lived.

Two months later, Tyler was in an orange jumpsuit and Josh was being lowered into the ground.

a/n: see this hurt too but there's a cute bit of joshler there you're welcome