Key to Perfection

A Funeral To Remember

 Rain softly poured down on the peoples heads, gathered around a deep hole in the ground.

A soft voice ran through my head. You will never be unloved. I will love and protect you til I'm six feet under. Here I was standing beside the grave. The casket being lowered into the dirt with the most caring person in it.

She didn't deserve to be buried in a wooden casket covered in the moist dirt. She deserved to be buried in a glass case, surrounded by lilies and tulips, irises and daffodils, rose petals at her feet. 

Anger welled up inside of me. I remembered memories of what happened. Little wisps, flashes of light that told me parts of the story, I filled in the blanks. The woman in the casket, she had been driving me, I don't remember where or why but it was dark. Then there was a blinding flash of light and another car smashed head on with us.

My seat belt buckled, my neck snapping forward. But the junky gray car would not have everyone safe. The woman beside me flew out.  Windows smashing and shards of glass. I saw orange flames licking the driver side of the car. I kicked the door open to escape the thick black smoke and crawled out of the car. Glass splitting through my skin and embedded itself all over my arms and legs. My vision was red, from the flames? The other car was turned upside down but the man driving it was outside and trying to call the ambulance. I looked and caught a glimpse of the woman's body, blood trickled slowly and her eyes were glazed, she was dead, lying against the pole that had ended her life. The paramedics found me and I was rushed to hospital. I had survived without fatal injuries. But the woman was gone.

My mother was gone.

We said their final good byes, the hardest word to say. My mom's peach skin was gray and her smile was gone, replaced by a grim look of death. Her coffee colored eyes didn't open and her cold hard hands didn't warm up to say she was alive. And the casket closed and she was gone. Really gone. There were tears of course but day after day, all I felt was numbness. Where were the arms that held me close. Where were the eyes that said everything was okay. Where was the smile that made everything happy.

Gone. Like a flower that holds such joy and beauty and withers away at the slightest touch of winter. Like a candle that brings light and holds the shadows and fears at bay, flicker out at the smallest whispers of wind.

Dirt was flung at the oak wood and reality set in. She was never coming back. This was really the final good bye.