Death Is My BFFLAD (Book Two Original Series)

Chapter 6: Humorless

I could work with this….

“Nothing more,” I repeated with a soft laugh. “Forget this. I need to go home,” I said. “I need…I need to think about this whole thing. This whole Guardian thing is just messed up. I just…I need to go. I just need to take a day off that’s it—“I broke off and covered my eyes.

Good…he’s falling for this!

I felt a hand on my back. I instantly felt safe, relaxed. “Faith, calm down everything’s fine. Do you want me to call you a cab?” David’s deep voice calmly said next to me.

I shook my head, trying to keep in as many tears as I could. Instead of covering up how upset I was I took a step back and wiped under my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” was all that David surprisingly said. “I didn’t mean to say that…you’re not nothing—“

“I have a question,” I interrupted. I could care less what he was going to finish that sentence with I knew it would be something hurtful.

His eyes darted from where he was staring out the window back to me.“Yeah?”

“What would you say if I possibly…stole that letter opener of yours and hid it in my sweatpants? Would it matter to you?” When David was turned around I had swiped the letter opener from his desk and slid it into the back of my sweatpants.

It took him a moment to register what I was implying. 

David shook his head once and glanced down at me. “Did you just fake that whole crying thing just to ask me that question?” he asked.

I nodded.

He deliberately flashed his teeth at me but not in a friendly way. “Then I’d say, take it because it’s neither a scythe nor any weapon of mass destruction. I don’t have a scythe, Faith Williams, because I’m not Death, nor will I ever be him for the millionth-billionth time. Get it through your thick skull because I’m not saying it again.”

“Not your scythe or not a scythe that you have?”

“Neither,” he said quickly, avoiding the trick question with ease. He then winked at me.

I made a face of confusion.  

David mimicked the look except exaggerated it so he seemed more constipated than confused.

I flipped him off.

His chocolate eyes grazed my finger with a frown until he clucked the roof of his mouth.

“You’re a sly, sick little man,” I blurted out beneath narrowed eyes.

Ha! Take that!

“Wow,” he said with a slow pronunciation and then walked around me with his arms crossed over his wide chest. “That’s really hurtful coming from “Munchkin Land’ standing right in front of me.”

“Wow,” I mocked in the best impression of David’s deep voice as I could. “I forgot just how mature you were,” I said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, are you the Vice President of an elite loan building? I think I lost my memory.”

I brought my fist up as if I was going to punch him. “I’m really debating whether to quit right now.”

“Do it. You won’t.”

I snorted. “You’re not worth speaking too.”

“And you are?”

I pushed at the exposed part of his shirt when he stepped closer to me. “Die in a hole with maggots you piece of scum.”