The Stripper Equation

Clothes Minded

“I am not telling you how many partners I have had, because I am a lady, not because I am a slutty stripper.  And no I have never cheated on anything in college.  High school, I can recall a few assignments I didn’t exactly do the work on.”  I threw my hands up.  “I think the statutes of limitations are over on that officer.  Although I did go to law school with Lance Van Burren, he practically cheated on everything.  If you want to open an investigation about that I would be more than happy to testify against that arrogant asshole.”

 “Sadly, the statutes of limitations for that are over too.  Not that that’s a can of worms I would want to open.  Politics and all, with the Senator.”  Noah was cocked his head.  “You sound rather passionate about him and this is the second time you’ve brought him up.  Was one of the things he cheated on, you?”

It took me a moment to register what he was saying and by the time it did I laughed hysterically.  “No.  Not even close.  There isn’t any amount of daddy issues or low self-esteem that would have made me get into any kind of relationship with him.”  The waitress came back with a tray and set our dishes in front of us.  We both thanked her.  “See bonus of eating raw food.  Takes less time to get our food.”  I joked.

Noah reached for the bottle of ketchup that was so out of place in a Japanese restaurant.  “You are clearly trying to change the subject.”

  I rolled my eyes.  “I told you before, I had a lot of classes with him at Harvard.  We ended up in the same study groups a few times and he never pulled his weight.  I needed the grades for my scholarship so I just had to work that much harder.”  I picked up my chopsticks.  “He was just so used to getting everything handed to him he never thought twice about it.  He always treated me like I was beneath him, he was always such a jerk to me even outside of class.”

Noah had taken a bite of his burger.  He finished chewing.  “Well if you know of any crimes he has committed recently maybe I can help you.” 

I couldn’t tell if he was serious or not.  “Well you may get the opportunity to run into him more sooner than later.”  Noah cocked his head again.  “He is Kiera’s go to lawyer.”  I picked up a piece of my sushi and put it in my mouth.  “So I’m pretty sure her drug money will be going to hire him again.”

“That’s such an odd combination.”  Noah replied.

“I know.”  I agreed.  “He has a practice in the city.  Mostly criminal law.  I think he was ditching the day they explained that criminal law wasn’t actually defending the criminals.  Because those are pretty much his only clients.”

Noah had tossed a few fries in his mouth, when he finished chewing he added.  “So basically even if I get enough on these guys to arrest them your old buddy Van Burren is just going to get them acquitted.”

“You don’t really think that will happen do you?”  I hadn’t thought of that.

Noah shook his head confidently.  “Nah.  I’m going to make sure that I have everything airtight.”  He picked up a fry and pointed it at me.  He could probably see the doubt on my face.  “Listen worse case scenario I’ll dangle a deal in front of one of them and use it to cement the case against the others.”