A Letter Before I Go ; malum

4

THAT NIGHT ON THE BUS, CALUM COULDN'T SLEEP. He kept looking above him, seeing Michael laying there. He wasn't sleeping, and it was three in the morning, which caused the Maori to worry. Worry meaning he didn't sleep.

He got up, putting some boxer briefs on and going to the toilet. When he came back, Michael was on his phone. Calum looked down at his bunk where he had been cuddling Michael's jumper. He hadn't had time to get rid of it before Michael got on the bus. Luckily, he didn't see it.

"Can't sleep?" Michael asked, and Calum crept into his bunk, yawning a little.

"No."

Michael looked at him, his phone screen lighting up his worried face. "I'm sorry." He turned his phone off, moving over to the wall of the bus so Calum could have more room.

"It's okay. I just wanna know why you left, but you won't tell me."

He rubbed his best friend's back, still feeling bad that he left and he couldn't tell him why. He pulled Calum close, their breath on each other's faces.

"Why can't you tell me?"

Michael sighed. "If I could tell you that, then I could tell you everything."

The Maori groaned, getting out of the bed. "I'm gonna go write."

Calum shut himself in the small living room part, grabbing Luke's guitar that was sat on the couch. He screwed around until he felt tired, which was about five in the morning, the words 'if I could tell you that, then I could tell you everything' sticking in his head.

He went to get back into his bunk when he saw Michael in his. He sighed and pushed Michael away so he could have some room. As soon as he got in, Michael put his arm over Calum's torso, breathing in his ear.

"Missed you, Cal," he mumbled and Calum tried not to get angry because Michael had the choice to stay or run away, he didn't deserve to be missing anyone.

He slept for three hours and missed breakfast, which made him complain even more. Michael tried to get him a banana and a coffee, but the paparazzi had him in their grasp. All the questions that he knew were going to be asked were asked, and he fully expected that, keeping a straight face.

It wasn't until the other members of his band were involved did he have a problem with it.

"Was it anything to do with the band?"

"Did they bully you, Michael?"

Michael wanted to explain to them that it wasn't anything his bandmates did. It was never their fault. It was his. He would own up to that. He sent himself away, no one drove him to do it.

He stopped, letting the paps surround him and get their cameras and recorders on their phones get in his face.

"I am in no way blaming my disappearance on any of the boys. I ran away. I did. No one caused me to do it. It was just me. I needed to be alone, but there was no way to do that with three other bandmates and heaps of fans on my back."

Michael immediately regretted what he said. 'heaps of fans on my back' would be the new punchline to the joke he didn't mean to make. He bit down on his lip and escaped into the hotel.

He pushed his back against the door, listening to the paps outside. They reminded him of the buzzing of flies, annoying his ears, constant noises he couldn't make sense of trying to stick in his brain.

He stopped, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Jesus, dude," Luke breathed. "It's a fucking storm out there."

Michael looked at him, walking over and running into his chest, his arms wrapping around Luke's waist. Luke sighed, his arms going around Michael's neck.

"Dark day?" Is your depression weighing you down more than usual?

"Intense day." Overwhelmed.

"I love you, Mike." The blond told him. "We're all here for you."

"I just fucked up." The purple-haired boy said. "I just told them that 'fans were on my back'."

"You'll be okay. If they haven't left us after all that shit from The Rolling Stone, they won't leave us after this."

Michael let go from the hug and they went up to their hotel room. Calum and Ashton were laid out on the double beds, laughing at something stupid. Michael smiled small, happy that they were happy.

He laid next to Calum, closing his eyes for a bit. The Maori sat up, tickling him. Michael giggled, trying to fight him off but laughing too hard to be successful. The other two boys that weren't involved looked at each other.

"Get off of me, you fucker!" Michael yelled, rolling off the bed.

Luke turned and saw Calum's cigarettes. Trying to be non-chalant, he threw them in the bin as he turned on Ashton's speaker to blast music. He pulled out his phone and connected it to the speaker, Nickelback playing.

Calum got up and took his smokes out of the bin without a word. He pulled one out, stuffing the rest in his pocket. Luke looked at him, shaking his head. Calum shrugged.

"Do you know where my lighter is?" he asked, trying to not let the others hear. He didn't want Ashton or Michael to kick up a big fuss about it.

"No idea."

Luke had it in his pocket.

Calum sighed, putting the cigarette in between his teeth. "Great."

"You don't need to smoke, anyway." Michael said, getting up.

The Maori ignored him, holding the cigarette that was in between his teeth between his fingers. He didn't need the health and safety speech; he'd heard it all before. "I'm going down to the bar, or something. Maybe they have one."

He left the boys standing alone their hotel room. They all looked at each other. Michael sighed, going over to his suitcase. He pulled out his pills and put two in his mouth.

"We'll be okay." He tried to say, taking a look at the label. "One day."

Sorry it's short

what do you think about the paps? 

what Michael said to them?

the boys trying to get Calum to stop smoking?