Twenty-Four ~ Chris Evans X Reader

Part 5 ~ The Fear

"(Name)..." Sebastian says my name with a sigh. "You can't change the past, no one can, you can only learn from it and become stronger."

"Okay Rafiki." I reply folding my arms over his chest.

"Hey, he gave out good advice. Some you should follow."

"I... I just don't want to hurt him again." I say looking down at the floor in front of me.

"Then you'll be afraid to move forward, and be alone for the rest of your life."

"God I hate you right now." I narrow my eyes at him and he smirks.

"We could always have angry sex?"

"Not gonna happen."

"Damn, well it was worth a try." He says a smirk covering his lips.

"Thanks Seb, in your own weird way you always manage to cheer me up."

"Hey that's a best friends job." He replies holding his arm out to me. Smiling I take it and let him lead me over to where everyone was waiting. Before we reach them I take a deep breath and grip tightly to Sebastian's arm. He gives me a warm smile before turning back to look ahead of us. In that moment my heart made the most terrible mistake. It skipped a beat.

~~~~~~~~

After stopping to pick up Karen, who decided to wear a gorgeous strapless crimson cocktail dress that complimented her every curve; We headed toward the small little bar where they were hosting the after party. I held tightly to Karen's hand as we pulled into the parking lot. I was terrified about the possibility of hurting Chris, again. He was a sweet and wonderful guy, the total package and because of what I had done in the past I had lost him. I didn't want to go through that kind of pain again.

"(Name), I just need to know what happened." Chris says as his hands rest gently on my shoulders as he stands behind me. I knew I needed to tell him the truth but I just couldn't.

"Chris, I can't do this anymore." I say trying my best to hold my tears back.

"What?" he asks his grip loosening on my shoulders. "What are you saying?"

"I don't wanna see you anymore. I'm," I pause as my throat closes up as it tries to stop me from saying the words I didn't really mean. "I don't love you anymore." His hands fall from my shoulders and I could feel my heart breaking.

"You-you don't mean that." He says trying his best to chuckle it off.

"I'm sorry, but I do." I say as I start to head for the door. I needed to get out. I needed to leave before I took everything back and admitted that it was a lie. The words were screaming in my head.

"(Name), wait! We can talk about this." He says as he follows me to the door.

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm leaving and that's that." I say as I reach up to grab the door handle only to have him grab my arm and swing me back around to face him where his lips instantly find mine making my body heat up under his touch. His grasp on my arm moves with an urgency to my cheek as he attempts to deepen our kiss but I quickly push him away.

Staring into his blue eyes filled with hurt I say, "Goodbye Chris," I instantly open the door to the apartment that we had shared together and without a single glance back I slam it behind me. As soon as the doors closed I felt the tears start to pour form my eyes. My heart was broken and it was all my fault. Pushing away from the door I head toward the elevator before he came running after me, and I knew he would. As I ride the elevator down to the lobby my phone was buzzing like crazy with messages from Chris, Tommy, Karen, and even my ex Jack.

The elevator doors open and as I step out them I see Chris panicking as he looks wildly around the lobby for me his breath ragged. He had run down the stairs to catch me. Before he has a chance to notice me I quickly slip out the back door and out into the alleyway. I had to leave things this way. This was the right thing to do. I had to protect Chris even if it meant breaking his heart as well as my own.

"Name!" Karen calls out my name bringing me back to the present. She points at my face and reaching up I realize I had been crying. "Are you okay?" She asks and I quickly try to play it off.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just remembered something unpleasant." Wiping my eyes, I catch a glimpse of Sebastian staring at me with concern and I offer him a soft smile. "I promise I'm okay." I gulp down a breath of air before I gently pat Karen's hand. "I could use a drink though, how about you?"

"I could go for a shot or two." Karen says as she helps me change the subject. I glance over at Sebastian to see that he wasn't buying our attempt at a subject change and I groan inwardly.

"(Name) what's wrong?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Nothing's wrong Seb, really, just remembered some things I wish I hadn't." I reply honestly and he nods.

"You could still change your mind you know,"

"What do you mean?" I ask in confusion.

"We don't have to go to the after party. We could always just go and do something else, just the three of us."

"Thank you Seb, but I'll be fine. I can't keep running forever right?" I ask and he nods. "So let's do this." I clear my throat and try to clear my head as Sebastian opens the limo door and climbs out as paparazzi cameras flash around us. I take a deep breath as Sebastian reaches his hand back inside for me to take. Taking his hand I let him pull me out of the limo and into the sea of flashing lights. I force a smile as I look around at all of them. If anything this was the one thing I hated the most about being famous. Absolutely no bloody privacy.

I was surprised that when Chris and I dated there was only one pap that came after me. The sudden memory causes my stomach to churn and my heart to clench. I had completely forgotten about him. I glance around frantically through the crowd to see if he was amongst them. Between the flashing lights and the bombardment of questions I couldn't really see much; and that made my anxiety go crazy.

What if he was here? What if I put Chris in danger again? I couldn't live with myself if I hurt him again. The first time had almost killed me, but what was I supposed to do? Drag him down with me? No, I don't think so. I feel a hand on my arm and turn to see Karen looking at me with worry filled eyes and I force a smile. I'd have to tell her what happened later; even if it would dredge up past nightmares.

I feel Seb take my arm in his and I smile at him. I would have to tell him the truth one day as well but for some reason I felt like if I told him, I'd lose him; and I wouldn't be able to handle that. "Shall we ladies?" He says a bright smile on his lips.

"Why of course good sir, time for free food." Karen says from the other side of me causing a chuckle to escape my lips. "Don't judge me (Name), I'm a very hungry girl."

"Yes ma'am," I reply as I try to hide my amusement.

As we walk through the doors I find myself looking around for Chris, which doesn't take me long to find him. I hear his laugh over the crowd and I turn to see him standing with his other costars, minus Sebastian, and I smile. He looked so happy. Who was I to come back into his life after all I had done. My hand unconsciously moves to my stomach as it tightens with guilt.

"Are you okay?" I hear Karen ask and I open my mouth to reply but nothing comes out. "Seb go get her something to drink, I'll find us some seats in a corner or something."

"Okay," He takes my face in his hands and gently places a kiss on my forehead before his eyes meet mine and he continues, "I'll be right back." I nod indicating I had heard him before I let Karen pull me to the nearest table. About halfway through I bump into someone and as I turn to apologize my eyes widen in fear as a devilish smile covers his lips. "Nice to see you again Miss. (Last Name)."