I looked over my shoulder, and say Jenna and Tyler in a make out session, covered in flower. I looked down at Kyndall, just as she looked up at me. We gave each other an awkward smile. I wished I wouldn't have looked at her.
They finished and laughed at each other. I wished I had what they had sometimes.
"Maybe we should finish these pancakes," Kyndall whispered up at me. I nodded and started grabbing the wet ingredients.
Jenna manned the griddle, whipping out perfectly cooked pancakes and stacking them all on a paper plate. Kyndall and i stood at the counter, having a competition to see who could make the funniest pancake face.
"Tyler! Please settle the argument and tell us whose is better!" Kyndall called. We turned our plates to face him.
"Well, as a pancake face expert, I have to say the detail of Kyndalls face takes the cake, or pancake I should say," he said, we laughed at his joke.
"Ha! I knew it!" Kyndall said, eating her faces banana eye. I rolled my eyes and started picking off chocolate chips. We all ate around the kitchen and talked.
"Do you guys only play music at Josh's apartment?" Kyndall asked.
"We have a music room here too." Tyler said.
"Really? So you have two drum sets?" She asked me.
"Yeah, they're exactly the same."
"Which on do you take on tour?"
"The one here has Tyler's initials on the snare next to his detailed drawing of a penis, so obviously this one." I laughed. Tyler snickered.
"Drawn with love." He laughed.
"Oh, I worked on the drum pattern for that one song finally," I told Tyler.
"Oooooh can we play it!!!" Tyler asked with enthusiasm.
"If it's cool with Kyndall." I looked over to her, she shrugged.
"Yay!!" Tyler got up and started for the music room.
"You coming babe?" He asked Jenna.
"Nah, I'll clean up." She said.
Kyndall seemed to like this music room better. It was a lot bigger. The walls were red, with pictures of all of our albums framed on the walls and a couple of awards scattered around. I hoped she wouldn't look too closely. I liked that she didn't know who we were. I sat down at the drums. This seat was the comfiest, another reason I like this drum set better.
Tyler sat down at his piano and tapped on a couple of keys a few times.
"Okay..." Tyler started the piano, a soft beginning of just him and the keys. He gave me a nod, and i started with the soft beat, it was a simple beat, easy to build on, which was what the song was about. I loved the way the song slowly got more aggressive, and Tyler seemed to like it too, smiling at the pattern I had come up with. Before I knew it, I was beating at the drums full force.
I felt Kyndall watching me. My mind was wondering, lost in the steady pattern of the drums. I started thinking about my sleep last night, how horrible it was. It hurt to think about the bad dreams. Wait...
Was Kyndall the reason I had slept so well?
*snap*
I looked down to my right hand. The top of the stick was gone. I had never broken a drum stick completely before, they were almost always somewhat in tact when I split them. This one had flown into the air and landed right in front of Kyndall. She looked at me with wide eyes. I couldn't tell what she was feeling, but the way out eyes met sent a strange feeling through me that I didn't understand.
"I'm gonna go grab some more sticks from my car," I said. I left the room.
||KYNDALL POV||
He played so forcefully today. He thrashed wildly in the seat with the beat of the drums. I kept thinking about how familiar Tyler's voice was, but the way Josh played occupied me more. He just kept hitting and hitting relentlessly, like he was releasing himself.
Everything stopped at the sound of a sharp snap.
Half of the stick landed in front of me. I looked down at it, then up at Josh. He was looking at his hands, sort of distraught. His eyes met mine. I couldn't describe the feeling between us in that stare.
"I'm gonna go grab some more sticks from my car." He got up and left. I looked over to Tyler, who sat at the piano. He mouth twisted to the side, sort of like he was shrugging without using his shoulder. I decided to find him.
He was in the car, but he wasn't holding any drum sticks. I climbed in.
"Josh..." He had his face in his hands, leaning over in the seat.
"Are you okay?" Was the only think I could think to ask him. He took a deep breath and looked up from his hands. His eyes were glossy.
"I'm about to do something really stupid." He said. What the hell did that mean?
"What?"
"Kyndall yesterday when I was with you, I had never slept like that in my life. I never sleep, I always..." He trailed off.
"You always what?"
"I don't talk about this to anyone." He said.
"You can tell me."
He sighed.
"I've been having these nightmares, for about two years now. They're so bad Kyndall. I stay awake as long as I can until I reach a point where I can barely keep my eyes open. I am terrified of sleeping." He looked so vulnerable and timid in that moment. All I could think about was how bad I wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay.
"Josh... I.."
"I'm sorry that was too much." He threw his hands and got out of the car quickly.
"Josh wait." I got out and chased after him, grabbing him by his arm in the garage. He turned around to me.
"Its okay," I wrapped my arms around his waist and gave him the best hug I could possibly give. I felt his arms wrap around my upper body. I could feel his breath on my neck. We sat like that for a while, a lot longer that a normal hug. Somehow, we decided to let go at the same time. His hand grazed down my forearm, than he held a light grip on my hand when they met. We locked eyes.
"You can always talk to me." I said.
"Thank you."
He let go of my hand, then held the door open for me into the house. I smiled.
He held my hand.
THE BREAK: part 5
Start from the beginning
