ITS SCARY!

The way YOU looked at ME.

When I first saw you, well my heart started to race I thought almost right away. That's the person I'm going to love! And sure enough you were. Fuck it honestly hurts so much with out you I don't understand why it has to feel like my life has to end if I don't have you! I just feel like I've been stabbed in the heart and all you can do is laugh at my pain. I can't do it every time I see your fucking amazing face my heart breaks and I break down because, I love you so much. I can't tell anyone how bad it hurts because I can't feel it myself sometimes..... Because I've felt the pain for so long it seems like It gets worse but at other times I can't feel anything, anything at all. I try and move on, fake a smile nod and say "I'm good" but why should that matter my heart has actually shattered into a million tiny little pieces. Does that even matter? No probably not because its not your pain or your problem but if you ever lost someone that matters to you if you have ever lost someone you were madly in love with then you wouldn't just let them go, would you? I can't stop thinking about all our conversations, and all our baby, love, babe, hotty, sexy. I don't understand I never have. this whole thing was supposed to work you should have been my one and only. But you weren't and that hurts more then ever. Because I see the way you look at other girls.....its the way you used to look at me 😢 and how I still wish you could. But you moved on and that hurts more then ever. I feel like I'm dying but for some reason I can't flat line, one day the monitor will stop beeping and that straight line will appear. But for Now I'm going to continue living and going threw the days I'm going to try and move on but its not going to be easy. Hell when is anything ever easy!? You just have to "just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming swimming"