Superhero, Superqueer

My Name Isn't Sparky

The next three days are filled with the same disappointment. No matter how hard I try, I can't control the amplified power. When I try too hard, I get zapped and drenched in sweat.

It's unlike the other times I use my power. I don't even think: I just know it will do what I want, so long as it's within my limits. Crew is doing his best to console me too, he really is, but by the fifth day of training, marking the end of week one, I can't take my failure. Crew can't make that go away.

"Collin, you're too hard on yourself. We're asking a lot of you," Crew says softly. "It's okay to not get it right away."

"This doesn't normally happen, though. That's my issue. I can control it otherwise. This is my particular strength, too; static electricity, just electricity in general."

Crew remains patient and optimistic, unlike me. "You know, you've reached one hundred-seven miles per hour."

I scoff. "Great. More speed. That's not what Gloria wants."

A frown forms on Crew's face that I want to wipe away. "Collin, have you thought about what you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Crew says, "Gloria wants what she wants, but you are the one with the powers. You need to want to hit the tree. We only have one more day with the storms, so I recommend you begin wanting this."

One more day? "But I do..."

"Not in your heart. In your mind, you want to please Gloria, but not yourself."

The conversation takes place in his room. We've taken to hanging out in his room and reading comic books, telling childhood stories (his are always more interesting), and watching movies of all sorts. His room is a sanctuary for me. Taner still wants to talk to me, and the only way to get him to hop off is by hanging out with Crew. Of course, that's not the only reason I hang out with him, but it's a benefit for sure.

I have to admit, I still look at Taner with yearning, but not as much. Maybe it's due to his betrayal. It seems to be easier to accept that we weren't meant to be, lately.

Maybe it's easier because of the boy with me. Crew has been making everything here easier. Why? I have an idea, but I can't bring myself to admit it. I can't let myself go through this disappointment again, not so soon. Yet I can't help it if I -

"Do you want to do your school work?" Crew changes the direction of our conversation.

"School work? I mean, I guess so. Do you have it?"

Crew nods. "Gloria gave it to me this morning. I imagine you can get it all done before dinner. You left during a light week."

I take a look at my homework: A DBQ in history; an outline in English; two math assignments. I finish the first two within an hour and a half - well, an hour, but the extra half was mixed in from Crew and I teasing one another.

Math isn't so easy. Crew admits that his math skills are behind. His eyes go wide at my homework.

"They teach you that?" Crew asks in amazement. "You're only a sophomore!"

"I tested into it," I explain. "Taner did too. He's the best in our class. Granted, there's only one class for sophomores, and it's quite small compared to other classes."

"So you're saying Taner can help you?"

My heart skips a beat. "I'm sure I can figure this out. Hand me my book again."

Another hour proves myself wrong, as I knew it would. There's just no way around it. I need Taner's help.

Reluctantly, I ask Crew to show me Taner's room. He points to a door on his side of the floor. I thank him, gather my things, and knock on Taner's door.