One Sided Love ➵ Carl Grimes Gay

III. ➵ what the hell

'Oh yeah'
She nods.
'I don't believe we've met-- I'm Yumiko!'

'H-Hi, ma'am'

'I'm new, so I feel a little shy around the big groups of people sometimes'
A giggle escapes her mouth.

'I-I understand that, I'm the same way'
I nod faster and more than I should've, I just knew I had to get out of there!

'I hope to see you around!'

'Definitely!'

Stumbling backwards, I quickly walk back towards the animals, biting roughly on my thumbnail.

I'm screwed, I'm screwed.

I missed papa, and I was starting to feel sick without him. Even though it may be unbelievable, he's sort of my safety blanket and I don't like to be away from him for long periods of time-- but I couldn't resist this community!

My fingers tap the side of my leg as I take a seat down against one of the small trees inside the walls.

I wasn't sure what to do, end my adventure and go back home or stay here for as long as possible to escape from home? I'm sure papa is extremely livid about me being gone, but I just wanted to have a little bit of fun.

He can be so mean sometimes and it honestly puts me down more than I already am. My self-esteem sucks and he can just make it worse at times. I love him to death, obviously, but I needed a break for a while.

My other thought was how I was planning on fitting in if I decided to stay. The doubt the leader believes I would just appear without any baggage. I can't just say i haven't seen them around because that would seem funny, it would raises eyebrows, and people would start asking questions... which is what I'm trying to avoid.

Am I sticking out like a sore thumb? Can people actually tell that I do not belong here?

I feel so guilty, but I don't want to. I wanted to be like normal teenagers and be able to do stuff without feeling as if I'm gonna throw up, balling my eyes out as I do so.

On the contrary, I did run away and I've never done that before. I did this to myself, and though I was sort of having a blast, it probably wouldn't hurt to actually go home now.

I did look over my shoulder and glance at the size of the walls, but that's all I did. Standing up, I slowly begin walk the loop past all the houses.

They were pretty, I'm not gonna lie. The size of them all... my gracious, they're pretty big! They also had a pretty impressive level of livelihood. I was expecting dirty old houses with veins spread out over them, but they were clean, which was very pleasing to my OCD.

Everyone actually looked happy to be alive, which is really weird because of our current situation.

How do you know when it's okay to start being a family again? If someone could let me know, that would be great, because papa obviously never got the memo.

I just don't get how you can go back to being normal people. There is literally one of the most unrealistic things in the world sprawled out across the globe! Excuse me for being a little negative about it all, but I'm honestly scared every single second of the day because of all the lame brains.