Visions

I don't know if I sane

So for the past couple of years I have been confused. Every time someone poses a situation or I think about doing something I think of a disaster. I drive in my car and I can imagine myself crashing, or someone crashing into me. At every turn, with every car that passes me. It happens when i walk past strangers, i imagine what they might do if they were a murderer.

You probably think i am a psychopath or just plain paranoid. But here is the thing. It doesnt bother me. None of it bothers me. As i see the disaster flash before me, just as if it really happened, i just keep going. It doesnt phase me. Only when i feel the emotions of those around me does it bother me. I also see disasters happen to others. Like things that could happen "if" but dont actually happen most of the time. I feel their fear, their pain and torment as i see it. When they are visions about me i am just numb. I dont know what is wrong. I dont understand it.

I am so confused. I havent told anyone about this. It would sound so strange. As i said id reckon i was a paranoid psychopath.

Do you think it is strange? I dont even know if anyone will read this. I dont know what i am doing here. Sitting down and typing this all out. I swear i am quite insane.

The other day i saw someone die. They didnt, but still i saw that it could have been possible. It was horrible. I just stood there as it came at me like a freaking flash of lightning.

I had been on a walk. I just needed some fresh air, i had been cooped up in my house all week due to some sickness I had. I couldnt work or even get out of bed really. It was exhausting.

Anyway, i went for a walk and as i walked i saw a woman with her dog about 200m ahead of me. She was probably in her mid 30s i guess. As it was 10am in the morning i am guessing she didnt have work or worked late nights or something. It really didnt matter. She was slowly walking towards me, minding her own business. She had her headphones in and was humming quietly to herself. Her dog was a german shepherd. It seemed nice enough, it wasnt dragging her or anything and it didnt even bark at me. But as i glanced at them i got a vision. All of a sudden she wasnt walking towards me anymore. She had frozen. Struggling to breathe. Like she was choking on something. Her dog was barking at her and whining. It knew something was wrong. She had fallen to her knees and was wrenching. I could feel her fear. Her struggle to catch a breathe. She started to vomit up blood. Crazy amounts. I even began to taste it in my own mouth. I felt like i was choking. The vomiting wouldnt stop. She couldnt catch a breathe, as she tried she would inhale blood that she was vomiting up. Soon she was on the group unconscious. Her dog barking at her and whining. She had aspirated. She had drowned in her own blood. It was spontaneous. She didnt even lool sick. What could it have been?

Then as quickly as it came, it left. I was back in the present with her walking towards me, now only about 20m away. I had stopped dead in my tracks. She kind of glanced at me and frowned as she walked past me. I must have looked like i was going to faint or even throw up. I was cold and clammy. I could feel the blood draining out of my limbs. I was dizzy. But i kept walking. It wasnt real. None of it was real and none of it could ever really happen.

Some could say i might be psychic. But psychics see the future, i dont. I just see options. Like a list of things that could happen if life decided to give you a bad day. Usually it was never anything good. I wished they were. I feel so alone in this. Like im different, which is true, but i also cant tell anyone. Who would believe me? Who wouldnt lock me up in a mental institute? Everyone would assume i was crazy, schizophrenic or something like that.

I swear i am as confused as anyone else would be. But these arent just random fantasies. They are involuntary, vivid and graphic. I feel them. I see them and i experience them physicially. Explain that to me, if you can then maybe i might talk to you more about it.