"He wasn't my everything 'til we were nothing
And it's taking me a lot to say
But now that he's gone, my heart is missing something
So it's time I push my pride away"
It's been a year. A year since the breakup. A year since Ashton walked out the door and left Luke for good. Luke is doing alright, he has gotten over the breakup pretty well. But he still misses him. He hasn't talked to Ashton at all since the breakup, only living off of the small details Calum gives him.
Ashton is in school again, and Luke's proud. He has his own apartment now, the location is unknown to Luke because Calum thought it'd be best to keep that information from him. He's happy, he's happy and moving on with his life. Luke doesn't know how to feel about it considering the pain of the breakup is still there, not as bad as it once was, but still there. He sometimes wonders if Ashton thinks of him, he wonders if Ashton ever cries when he recalls all of their moments together. He wonders if Ashton's bed feels as cold and lonely as his.
Despite that, Luke is content with life at the moment. He's making good money from his manager position at his job and is even considering using the money he made moving into a new place, a place with less memories, a new start. His relationship with Calum is back to normal and Michael has finally forgiven him and is talking to him again.
So yeah, life is good and he's enjoying it as best he can. He just wishes he can see Ashton again, talk to him, apologize. He misses him dearly and as much as he knows he doesn't deserve a second chance, he hopes for one, hopes that he will find Ashton again one day and they'll be back to normal. They'll be in love and living together once again. Luke just wants the love of his life back.
--
"Has he asked about me?" Luke asked quietly, staring down at his lap.
He was hanging with Calum and Michael, just a weekly catch up. He has been thinking of and missing Ashton a lot recently. He wanted to see him and tell him how much he misses him and how sorry he is. Wants to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness, even though he knows he doesn't deserve it.
Calum and Michael are silent for a while. Luke can just imagine the looks of sympathy on their faces.
Luke is surprised when Calum answers though, "Yeah Luke, he did." he says with a sigh.
Luke perks up and hesitantly asks, "Really? Does he- do you think he misses me?"
Michael groans, "Of course he missed you idiot you were the love of his life, how can he not?" Calum winces and Luke frowns in realization.
Missed? Was the love of his life? As in past tense?
"So you're telling me that he doesn't love me anymore?" His eyes start to sting, he doesn't know why he's crying. He should have known. It's been a year, of course Ashton would move on. But it still hurts, hurts knowing that he's the only one still in pain over the separation. He was stupid to think that he could ever have Ashton back, that Ashton would ever continue to love him after the pain Luke put him through.
Calum stared at Luke with a worried look, "Luke, man, we thought you were over this. We thought you got over Ashton."
Luke finally let the tears fall. Got over him? Ashton took up most of his thoughts, how could he possibly forget about him.
Luke cried, "I- I can't stop thinking of him Cal. I miss him and I-" Luke voice was cut off by his own pitiful sob "I love him, I still love him, and honestly I feel like I will always love him." He felt arms wrap around his waist and a head rest on his shoulder, it was Michael.
