For the Love of Magic

What Idiot Doesn't Like Disney Songs?

“And here I was assuming that an hour in the car would have cooled you down a bit,” P says with a sigh. True that I’m dead tired and crazy sore but I can’t let down now. He can’t do anything to me that will stop me from getting out of here. Wizard or not this guy is nothing more than an arrogant stalker. I will not let him keep me locked up.

“What a stupid wizard you are,” I state. His lips purse in a tight line. “Oh! Let me introduce myself. I’m Faye from Roadside Assistance! I heard you got your car broke by an extremely awesome and powerful witch and need help with the repairs…I also see you’ve paid in advance. So! Where is this so cunningly destroyed vehicle?” P scowls at my jokes (which I’m quite proud of by the way; I love my humor even when I’m the only one who does) but opens the bars to let me through. I follow P through the halls (and through the walls) humming I’ve Got a Dream from Disney’s Tangled as loud as I can. His jaw is clenched tightly together and I know I’m annoying him. Score for Faye! We get back to the garage with the now mangled car sitting in the middle of the floor.

“Finally,” P says when we arrive. I smile to myself. Finally is right. Finally I found his weakness! He doesn’t like Disney songs! Who doesn’t like Disney songs? Weirdo. P hands me a toolbox and I carry it over to the car and get to work.

“How long is this going to take?” P inquires. A plan springs up in my mind just like that *snap*.  Oh I’m so glad you asked that,

“It’s going to be a few hours. I kinda totaled it, didn’t I? It’s definitely fixable though. It’ll just take a while,” I say, assessing the car. I really did screw it up though. I fight down a smile of pride. P closes his eyes and puts his hand on his forehead like I’m giving him a headache.

“Fine. Just get it done soon.”

“Yes, sir!” I say with a military salute but instead of locking my legs together I jump so I land with my toes facing inward to each other. It’s so much more fun that way. P rolls his eyes and leans back against the wall to watch me work.  I rip the hood off the car and see P flinch. What is it with guys and their cars? Relax! I can fix it! Gosh. Have some faith.

I keep humming Disney songs as I start telling the various tools what to do via telepathy. After a dozen of them are busy taking out nuts and bolts and repairing pipes I start singing out loud.  “Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete? Wouldn’t you think I’m a girl, a girl who has everything? Look at this trove, treasures unknown! How many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you think, sure, she’s got everything. I’ve got gadgets and gizmos of plenty. I’ve got oozits and whatz-its galore! Want a thing-a-ma-bob? I’ve got twenty!” I continue singing Disney’s The Little Mermaid at half volume until P glares at me. Then I start belting out the lyrics. “I WANT TO SEE, WANT TO SEE THEM DANCING! WALKING AROUND ON THOSE-WHAT ARE THEY CALLED AGAIN-FEET! FLIPPING YOUR FINNS YOU DON’T GET TOO FAR…” P grinds his teeth together, glaring in utter annoyance.  I keep up my off-key, ear-splittingly loud singing until P finally stands up.

“I’m going to get ear plugs. I will be back in one minute. If you try anything, you’ll regret it.” P threatens. I wave him off, still in the middle of singing You’ve Never Had A Friend Like Me from Disney’s Aladdin. I watch him leave. It worked. I smile. Perfect. You stupid, low-patience wizard! Disney will be your downfall! Haha! I pick up one of the extra screws from the toolbox. P may have set the bars against me but he lifted all his control over the tools and screws so I could fix his precious car. He won’t notice one missing screw unless he is hopelessly OCD and from the looks of this garage, I’m safe. Do you want a job? I ask the small metal object in my hand. Really? Me? What kind of job? I hear in reply. A very very important job. The most important job of all. But you can only do it if you trust me and don’t tell the wizard. He doesn’t think you can do the job but I do. I can feel a sense of pride welling up inside the little screw. I’ll show him! I can do it! What do you need? It asks with full confidence. I need you to scout out these tunnels to find the surface. Any road you can find to get this car out of here. Got it? I feel the confidence draining from the small screw. So you don’t want me to help you fix the car? It asks. No! No! You’re a very reliable screw. You’re better than to be used in this heap of scrap metal. I’ll find something super special for you to hold together if you can do this job. I tell it. You promise? The screw asks and I imagine the piece of metal with big puppy dog eyes. I promise. I say and think of all the cool stuff I could make when I get out of here. Yeah, I’ll find something awesome to put this little screw in. Okay! I let the screw drop out of my hand and when it hits the floor it begins to roll. Soon it’s gone with no trace left behind.