Part Fifteen

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Suddenly I was somewhere else entirely. It was a place I didn’t know but at the same time it was so familiar. It was a dimly lit room containing only a dirty three piece suite, a moth-eaten lamp and a coffee table that had obviously had a hard life. It seemed bigger than our house. The television set towered above me. I sensed movement and backed into the corner as two dark figures entered the room. A man and a woman. I was sure I recognised them.

Without warning, the man attacked the woman. I didn’t move. He yelled something I couldn’t understand and hit her again. Her knees buckled and she fell to the floor, sobbing. He kicked her and kicked her again, relentlessly. Each time she yelped and there was a horrible, horrible sound like thud. He didn’t stop. She was begging and pleading and, I couldn’t sit there and watch, I couldn’t.

“Stop it! Stop! Leave mummy alone!” I cried. My voice was very high pitched; it surprised me. “Stop it Daddy, please!”

Daddy? Mummy? Who were these people and why was I calling them that? I realised that I wasn’t able to change what was happening. Events were already written.

This was a flashback.

The man turned to me, his neck clicking in an almost mechanical way.

“Isabelle? Is that you, brat? What are you doing up?”

I cowered back into the corner.

“You’ve been a very naughty girl, Isabella Rose. And naughty children must be punished.”

He grabbed my collar and lifted me out from the safety of the TV set. He pulled his well-worn fist back and propelled it toward my face. I knew it had made contact, because I heard the sickening snap of breaking bones and I heard myself scream. But in this memory, this slither of my past which had previously been wiped out, I couldn’t feel any pain. Just emptiness. He dropped my body and I crumpled into a ball. He began to hick me as he had kicked the woman. Through my shaking vision, I saw her. Her chest did not rise or fall, and her awful sobbing had silenced. She was gone, and unable to defend me.

He kicked and kicked, again and again.

I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out.

That was the moment I lost my voice.

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