Stay Alive

Friend Please

MAJOR TRIGGER- cutting

Tyler, Jenna, and Josh suspected nothing. Alyssa was good at hiding her feelings. She faked a smile all throughout lunch and the drive home. When they got to the house, Josh took Alyssa's suitcase and Tyler said, "This is our home!"

They went inside and Jenna showed her the 1st floor. There was a living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom. Up the staircase, there were 4 bedrooms and 2 more bathrooms. "We'll have to turn one of the guest rooms into your own room, Alyssa," Tyler said.

He opened the door to one of the guest rooms. Bright, afternoon sunlight filtered in through the windows. The bed was against the windows. It had a blue and white bedspread. Beside the bed, was a nightstand with a small lamp on top with 2 small drawers underneath. Against the opposite wall, next to the door, was a desk. Part of the left wall was a small closet.

Josh set down Alyssa's suitcase on the bed. She sat beside it and looked around. "I love it!" She exclaimed.

"Good! Do you need help unpacking?" Jenna wondered.

"I can do it, it's fine," Alyssa replied, "But thanks for the offer!"

They left her alone to settle in. As soon as the door was completely shut, Alyssa laid down on the bed. She reread the messages on her old phone. Maybe it was true...maybe they only took her in because they felt bad. Alyssa would ruin their careers! They'd have to stay home with her! They wouldn't be able to go on long tours like before, unless Alyssa went with them. But that couldn't happen if a tour was during the school year. She was just wasting everyone's time...

TRIGGER BEGINS

That night, Alyssa felt worse. Nothing seemed to make her feel better. It was true, she was just wasting Tyler's time. Why would he want to take care of someone like her? Did I bring them? Alyssa wondered. She grabbed her suitcase, which was under the bed. She opened it and checked one of the pockets. She found them: the razors.

Alyssa grabbed her pajamas and left her room. "I'll be in the shower!" She called down the stairs.

"Okay!" Tyler responded over the sound of the TV.

Alyssa entered the bathroom next to the second guest room. She locked the door, grabbed a towel from the closet, and turned on the shower. When it was warm, she undressed and got in. Alyssa set the bag of razors by the soap. She washed her hair and body. Then, she thought to herself, Tyler, Jenna, and Josh love me. They love me...no, I'm nothing but a burden. She began to cry. Why did she not have any friends? Why had she been kidnapped? Why had she been abused? Why did she feel so alone? It was true. She didn't deserve to live.

Alyssa opened the bag and took out a razor. The bag dropped to the floor. With her left hand, she sliced it across her right wrist. It stung, and the water made it sting more. But Alyssa didn't stop. She made 5 new cuts and reopened 2 old ones. Then, she turned off the shower and got out.

Blood dripped down her hand as she dried off and put on her pajamas. She wore a pair of sweats and an old, blue sweatshirt. Alyssa rolled up the sleeves then looked in the mirror. Why? Why? Why? Why? I don't deserve anything. I'm ugly, noone likes me, I take up their life. I don't deserve to live... She wondered.

Alyssa began cutting her left wrist now. Tears streamed down her face and each cut stung. But she ignored the sting. The cuts were deep and blood ran down her hands fast onto the counter. She reopened 3 old cuts and made 4 new ones on her left wrist.

Alyssa closed her eyes and tried to stop crying. She wanted to die. "Alyssa? You've been in there a long time. Is everything okay?" Tyler's voice called from the other side of the door.

Opening her eyes, Alyssa rolled her sleeves over her cuts and grabbed some toilet paper. She wiped down the counter and said in a shaking voice, "I'm fine."

Silence...no response from Tyler. Did he walk away? A moment later, he said, "Let me in."

Alyssa quickened her pace. "N-No! I-I'm almost done," She stuttered.

But suddenly, she heard the sound of a key inside a lock. Tyler had gotten a key. "No! Don't come in! Please!" Alyssa cried out.

The door swung open. Tyler stared at his little sister. He saw her trying to wipe the counter clean of blood. He saw the bag of razors with a bloody one resting on top. He saw Alyssa's face, filled with emotional pain. Her tears fell and she collapsed to the floor, covering her face with her hands. Tyler rushed to her side and sat next to her. "Where'd you cut? Your legs? Your wrists?" He wondered, gently taking her arms in his hands.

Alyssa tried to pull her arms away and said nothing. But Tyler held them. "Let me see," He whispered as he rolled up her sleeves.

He saw her cuts and his eyes welled up with tears. "No, no sweetie. No," He muttered as he searched the bathroom for the first aid kit.

Tyler found it under the sink. He opened it and began cleaning her cuts. The entire time, he repeated, "It's okay. It's going to be okay."

When he finished wrapping the bandages, Tyler pulled Alyssa into a hug. They sat on the floor, leaning against the sink. Alyssa explained what happened with Miranda and how she felt like a waste of time. "You're not a waste! I love you, Alyssa. We can get rid of your old phone so you don't have to deal with Miranda. I don't want you to ever feel like you don't matter. You are so important and I don't want to lose you," Tyler said softly.

Alyssa noticed that he almost said 'lose you again,' but he stopped himself. She rested her head on his shoulder and Tyler sang:
Friend please remove your hands from
Over your eyes for me
I know you want to leave but
Friend please don't take your life away from me

(A/N: Thanks for reading! This was a more serious and sad chapter. But just know that you guys can message me anytime. Unfortunately, I've self-harmed before but I'm here for you guys if you need to message me about anything.)