Mistaken Perception

Chapter 1

She walked out of the bathroom grabbing one of her husband's shirts and her favorite comfy jeans. As she tidied up the room to the chirping of the birds, her mind began to wonder and roam in the past as it so often did.

Almost twenty years back her life had taken a turn she had never imagined, not even in her most spine-chilling nightmares. She hadn't been able to admit it at the time, couldn't bring herself to accept the reality of the situation. The pain had been too intense. She had felt like she would crumble apart as if she was held together by a small string. One small tug and she would never be able to pull herself together. 

It had happened so fast that it was hard to believe a week before the incident, she had felt like the happiest person in the world. Her future had looked so appealing, and enchanting. She had been so close to achieving all her goals. But in one swift moment, it was turned upside down.

Her life had changed. Too fast for her to keep up; too fast for her to make any sense of. All the plans and goals that had been close enough for her to grab. Became miles and years away from her. She hadn't known if she would be able to achieve the things she had wanted for herself. Or if she even wanted them anymore. She had no time to think and reflect. Before new goals and responsibility were dumped on her lap at the tender age of twenty-one.

Responsibilities in the form of her two younger siblings. She hadn't known or understood for a moment, how she was going to accomplish what she had known she must. She had never thought or imagined that she would become the sole guardian, of a four and a ten-year-old.

Aisha shook her head, trying to bring her mind back to the present. Sometimes she wished she could speak to her younger self. She wished she could tell her that life would get better. That although the pain wouldn't fade, it would become bearable. That she would learn to smile and laugh again. That despite losing so much, she would gain much in life as well. But perhaps, it was that very truth that hurt just as much. 

Her inability to combine the loved ones from her past to her present. That her siblings and parents would never meet her children and husband. That her little sister would go on through life unable to recall the faces of her parents and older siblings. While her little brother would only have fragmented memories of them, and she would forever remember them, despite her inability to be close to them.

She was startled back into reality by the warm embrace of her husband. It only took her a moment before she melted into him trying to soak up some strength.

"I thought you might be awake," he said his deep voice vibrating through her. She smiled turning her head slightly to look at him.

"Walikum Salaam," she said a warm smile spreading across her lips, he gave her a returning smile and a squeeze.

"As-salamu Alikum love," he said giving her kiss on the forehead.

She turned around for a proper hug and comfort. He held her gently not asking but knowing and sensing her melancholy mood. He didn't say a word or break the silence giving her control over the situation.

"Just ...when I think I've handled it...I surprise myself with my weakness," she said her voice muffled against his shirt.

He was silent for a moment resting his head against hers.

"I don't know if I would call that weakness...weakness is shutting off the pain and being unable to handle it. What you do love...that's nothing short of true and unattainable strength. You are one of the strongest people I know. I wish I was half as strong as you though I'm fine with just having you next to me," he replied producing a giggle from her as he had planned.

"Now, are you ready to join us for breakfast or would you like it in your room?" He asked with a slight tilt of his head his golden brown eyes looking into her own.