Drummer

Chapter 5

-:-:-Trigger Warning-:-:-
I just got home from posting our 5th cover on YouTube. I went to my room and went on Twitter. Big mistake. There was so much hate such as
'I saw a cover on YouTube and Ashton was in it. His voice is horrible and u call that drumming?'
'He needs to lift weights, he's so fat'
'He's fat'
'Ugly bitch'
'Fag'
And others like that. It hurt a lot. There were comments like that on Instagram and Twitter and on our YouTube channel. I went to my bathroom. I needed to feel something. I grabbed the blade from its hiding spot. I put it to my wrist. 1 slice. 2 slice. I ended up with 15 new cuts on both wrists. The red blood was dripping down. On the floor, sink, and a little on me. It felt good. I put the blade to my thighs. I sliced away. 20 on both thighs. I watched it drip down. I went to my stomach. 10 new cuts on my stomach. Why not. Let's take a shower. The warm water felt so good on my body but it stung the new cuts a little. I finished and got out. I threw on sweatpants and a long sleeve grey shirt. I quickly cleaned the floor, sink, and I threw my clothes in the washer. Seconds later the door bell rang. It's not Harry cause he's staying with grandpa for a bit and Mom is working really late for the next three months. I opened the door to see the boys. I forgot they were going to stay the night. Oh and I forgot, it's spring break right now. I let them in.
"Ash I didn't know you had a pool!" Calum yelled. I just nodded.
"Let's go swimming!" Luke yelled. Everyone agreed but me.
"Oh I'm-uh I'm n-not going t-to." I stuttered out.
"Why not?" Michael asked. Because I just fucking cut.
"Oh um just not in the mood." I lied. They just nodded. They quickly changed and ran out to my pool. Jumping in. It looked like fun but I can't. I just sat in a lawn chair, watching them have fun.
"Ashton!! Come in the pool!" Calum whined. I sighed.
"Calum I said no." I said getting a little annoyed. He just pouted and nodded his head understanding that 'no' means no.

I fell asleep a little bit after. I was in a good dream when all of a sudden I was shook awake. I looked up to see all three boys looking at me with tears in there eyes. I started to panic.
"Ashton what are theses?" Luke asked holding up both my wrist to the reveal my cuts. I couldn't answer them I just looked down and brought my nee's to my chest. Taking my arm out of this grasp.
"Ashton come inside. We are going to talk about this." Michael said sternly. I got up keeping my head low and followed them inside. They sat on the couch me sitting on the other.
"Ashton are more cuts in other places?" Michael asked. I just nodded.
"Got change. I want to see all your cuts." Michael said. I didn't argue. I walked up stairs and took my shirt off and putting on shorts. I rolled the shorts up more so u could see the cuts. I walked back down and heard gasp from the boys. I kept my head down. I stood there not being able to take it any longer. I broke. I fell to the floor sobbing. I heard the boys shuffle around and was gulped in three pairs of arms. I sat there crying while the boys tried to comfort me. Minutes later I was out cold.