Fall in May

~2~ Mayhem

"Ah...South of LA, north of San'D, off the 405 freeways at the O.C. county line by the sea?" And yes, even I am impressed by my level of sensitivity, as I just gave a blind girl standard Socalese driving directions to the beach.

"I see. Well, I suppose all that certainly explains the different accent." She retorts dryly to my very driving directions, but then to my surprise, she suddenly lights up like a bonfire on the Fourth of July. "Hey wait a sec, that's not by Disneyland by any chance, is it?"

"Yeah." I sigh sadly. From a manic and mayhem to the Mouse Brigade in less than two minutes flat has got to be a new record in the annals of a stranger in a strange land, even for me. "I live west of the Tragic Kingdom to the ocean by fifteen miles, give or take."  

"Mmmm, Magic Kingdom/Tragic Kingdom? Cute wordplay, I think that one's a keeper." May mugs in appreciation. "But seriously now, what's Lifeguard from Disneyland Beach doing teaching swimming to the Specials at the Annex? Are you working on your summer break from college? Or working off that community service for something you're really super sorry for? And swear up and down on a stack that you will never do that again?"

"College? Hardly." I snort in retort. "I'm still in high school, or I will be when school starts back up. I'm just here staying for the summer with my grandparents, living the dream in San Fallcon. Doing the lifeguard thing is just a temporary summer job for some extra cash, until I can get back home." 

"Huh? You sound older to me than high school." May frowns. "But that might be a regional dialect accent thing. Or you're secretly a three-pack a day smoker, when you're not guarding the lives of old ladies and babies, and picking fights with the local freak troop."

"Ah...no. Like I said, I've always hated the stench of smoke." Which is true, just not the true truth as to why my voice is slightly gravelly. I can thank the Neo-Nazi skinhead kid who kicked me in the throat two years ago in the yard fights at Seaside high school for that ...the second to last time I almost died.

"So whaz the what'z then, Lifeguard Dare'ren?" She mimics my accent playfully. "So when you're not at Bikini Beach, you just wander aimlessly from fray to fray, with little or no thought on the matter? Kinda like Kane in Kung Fu? Just walking the earth looking for large groups of freaky kids to get tough on or teach to swim? While using new and exciting curse words, and then get really confused when they run away from you in terror?"

In as much as I hate to admit this, it was all true. Every single thing she just said about me was true truth. This strange enigma of a girl had stripped me down to the core in less than three minutes of meeting her, leaving me feeling more than a little unsettled. Even without the benefit of actually laying eyes on me, I have the strangest sense that this strange girl is somehow seeing into what little is left of my scorched soul ...and found something very entertaining to play with.

"Okay, you got me. The mystery of me is now solved." I shrug her off, and then immediately realize there's just no point to the gesture anymore. "But you also glossed over the whole looking for the Death by Misadventure thing for my tombstone that I've been going in for. They say it's just a phase I'm going through? But I don't know, something about it just feels so right?"  

Thankfully I can see that I've amused her again on some level, so of course, I push my luck a little. "Honestly, I've always thought that misadventure had such a mysterious flavor to it. It's not quite stupidity ...but still has that rare quality of 'Dammit! I should have known better, if I just took a second and thought that through'.  But like the Buddhist say...Oh well, better luck next time."

"Well, I suppose that's an oddly noble truth in its own wyrd way." She smirks contritely. "So you do this kind of thing a lot, huh? The whole leap before looking thing, that all the kids go in for?"