elevators

n i n e

phil

it had been at least an hour after our awkward embrace, and the brunette guy was back at(it again with the white vans) being a sarcastic douchebag. he was a really interesting person to talk to, and when i looked at him i would have never thought that he loved studying drama or he was afraid of trees.

in this short period of time i had come to know him a lot, about his past, what he likes, what makes him cringe and how he spent his free time. it wasn't anything personal, but it also wasn't something you would randomly want to tell someone.

it feels good, talking about everything that keeps you awake at night because of embarrassment, it's like a huge weight is lifted off your chest.

"so," he clears his throat, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"tell me about your family," he sweeps his dusky hair away from his forehead and the laughter previously echoing through the elevator because of something he said was drowned out.

"well," i sigh, taking a deep breath. it's something i'm not comfortable talking about, something that i have never thought of sharing with someone until this caramel eyed stranger came along. i decide to ignore the part of my brain that's telling me to let it out, and state the simpler things.

"i have my parents obviously, and they are pretty chill i guess, they let me do what i want and are supportive so that's all i want," i tell him and he smiles warmly at me.

"my mom and dad divorced when i was young, so i only live with my mom right now," he sighs, eyes darting away from mine for a moment and i frown at him.

"i'm sorry,"

"no it's okay, i mean i was a child back then so i don't really remember what happened or have any vivid memory of my dad except from that one time when he taught me how to swim i guess," he shrugs, a soft smile on his face that represents pure nostalgia.

"do you have any siblings?" i ask him, the question causes a pain in my chest as it rolls off my tongue but he just gives me an annoyed look.

"yeah, i do have a brother and he is one annoying ass," he snorts and i half heartedly smile at him.

"appreciate his asshole-ness while he's still there," i simple state, staring down at my hands feeling the tears well up in my eyes again. it is difficult for me to talk about him, my brother. we were good friends and he was always someone who i looked up to. i would have never thought that a person like him could be bound into that sort of mental trauma, when he was the one who brought smiles to every one else's face.

"did your brother..?" his voice is low as he ducks his head to take a look at my face but i take off my glasses wiping the moisture out of my eyes with the back of my sleeve.

"oh my god, i am so sorry," i can feel him crawling forward and sitting next to me, placing his hand gently over my knee and giving it a light squeeze.

"i'm just," a small whimper escapes my lips and i slap my hand over my mouth to cover the noise, hiding my face with my hands. "i'm sorry i didn't mean to," i hiccup silently and his hand travels up to rub my shoulder.

"it's okay, do you want to talk about it?" he asks me, his voice is soft and i feel myself breaking into sobs again.

i'm slightly surprised when his arm pushes past my shoulder and he pulls my body to his, his hand slowly rubbing my forearm and my head rests reluctantly on his shoulder, his resting on top of mine.

"he just, he never told me, we were so close and just three years ago he-" i pause to take a breath and his grip tightens on me. "he overdosed on sleeping pills,"

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iM SO SAD BC A PERSON ON MY WALL SAID THAT SNAPCHAT IS #4 IN FANFICTION AND THEN I PANICKED AND I CHECKED BUT IT WASN'T NOW IM