Seduce Me ~ The Path To Forgiveness

Step One: My Demons

My father, William, gave me this journal, he told me to write in it as though I were speaking to a friend. With that in mind it seems odd to introduce myself, for if we were truly friends you would already know me, but I will regardless. My name is ________ Anderson, at least it is now. You, dear friend, were a gift to me for my twenty-third birthday, a symbol of a desperately needed fresh start filled with clean white pages and bound in musky black leather. He told me to start at the beginning, that the path to forgiveness is acceptance, but if I'm being honest I don't want to forgive I just want to forget. I will tell you my story friend and I pray that you won't judge me as harshly as I judge myself.

My childhood was a happy one, my parents and I lived in a quiet little town filled with smiling faces, everything was perfect. My mother owned a bakery filled with warm breads and delicious treats sure to make your mouth water. My father helped there from time to time but his passion was with words, he'd accompany me to school occasionally and spin such marvelous tales. He'd tell stories about brave knights and fiery dragons, beautiful princesses and elegant balls and his tales were so magical you could almost hear the sounds of music and the soft tinkling of glasses. Those were the best days, the teachers would thank him for sharing his stories and my classmates and I would spend all afternoon pretending to be in his worlds.

I was 16 when I spent the last day with my family, I remember it as vividly as if it were yesterday. It was my birthday and my mother left her shop under the care of a close friend so we could spend the day together. We went down to the small lake on the outskirts of our town surrounded by fields of beautiful rose angels, the cool breeze plucking their silky pink petals and carrying them through the warm summer day. As my mother laid out our soft blue blanket and unwrapped our basket of sandwiches and sweet confections my father splashed with me in the cool, glistening water. We spent that last day together happy and unaware, you could have heard our laughter for miles, and by the time we returned home the moon had already filled the sky with it silvery blue glow.

As we approached our home we realized something was very wrong. The front door was shattered, splinters filled the darkened entryway. My mother grabbed my arm tightly and I could feel the fear in her heart as though she were forcing it into my own. My father moved from beside us, taking a few steps forward.

"Wait!" My mother cried but it was already too late.

There was a flash of movement from the doorway and a sudden noise I didn't recognize at the time but have come to know all too well, the sound of cutting flesh. Crimson splattered the ground as my father fell forward, his body lying limp and motionless on the grass as blood pooled beneath him. I wanted to scream, I needed to, but I could only manage a gasp as I stared at the man who seemed to just appear before us with a bloody blade in his hands. He sneered down at my father, kicking him in the side, before turning his gaze to us. Strands of dark hair fell from his hood, the ends just barely reached his shoulders and I could feel his charcoal eyes rake over me in an uncomfortable way that caused shivers to run through me. His mouth twisted into a cruel smirk but he said nothing, seemingly content with leering at me, until my mother broke the silence.

"Why?" Her question was pained, her voice cracked, and I could hear the raw despair in her tone, as though this moment was feared but inevitable.

"Do you really want to play innocent?" His words weren't directed at me, I knew this, but his eyes still roamed my trembling body.

"Please." My mother begged. "Spare her she's only a child, I won't fight you."

His gaze snapped to her, cold and uncaring. His eyes seem to glow golden, what I assumed must be a trick of the moonlight, as he scoffed at her with disdain. "What use is an old whore? My lord prefers them younger but don't worry my dear we will take very good care of her."