Run (Disasters in Love: Book 1) (Part 1 COMPLETE)

Chapter 14

"Well, for one... You don't date.  So why would you date me?  And two, they know we aren't very fond of each other.  And let's see... three, we've barely looked at each other in the past month, so why would we suddenly start dating?"  I cringe as I finish my rant.  Thank goodness he can't see my face in the dark.

"Okay..." He starts out, hesitantly.  "Let's see.  One was about me not dating, well that's easy, obviously I made an exception for you." 

"Yeah, but why.  We need to get our story straight."  I want to be flattered, but I remind myself this isn't real.

Ben doesn't really date.
I'm not really an exception.
Ben would never really date me.

"Seriously?  Why wouldn't I date you?  I would be a complete fool not to.  You're perfect." He says it so nonchalantly, I almost believe it. Almost.

I scoff.  Yeah right.

"You don't believe me?" He sounds offended, but I can't believe him.  He's way too attractive to want me.

"No, why would I?  I am-" He cuts me off before I can insult myself.

"Well, for one... you are fucking gorgeous.  For two, you are adorably funny.  And for three, I can't think of anyone I would rather spend time with."  He lightly strokes my cheek with his free hand.  I close my eyes, enjoying the contact, as his words sink in and wrap around my heart.

Remember, this is fake. Crap.

"Now, what was two again?  Oh right, we don't like each other or something like that?  I'm not sure what you mean by that.  I happen to like you quite a lot."  My heart feels like it might beat out of my chest, if only the words were true.

"Yeah, right." I know better. 

"Believe what you want, but I assure you, it is very true.  Now, why don't you like me?" He stops stroking my cheek, but continues to hold my hand.

"Well, let's see... You insulted me with a cliched half-hearted blow-off and then completely ignored me for an entire month, while parading around with a literal bimbo parade.  Yeah, that might have something to do with it."  I feel the anger bubbling up, but I try to push it down. Completely losing it on him would not help.

"I'm... Kat. Fuck.  I am so sorry.  I know nothing I say can make it right, but please believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you."  I want to believe him, I really do, but I just can't. I need to get out of here. Now.

"Okay, whatever."  I try to pull my hand from his grasp, but he holds right.  "Listen, I should really get going, anyway. Vanessa is probably looking for me."  I doubt she's actually thinking about me at all, if she's even conscious at this point.

"Don't leave, Kat.  If this is ever gonna work, you have to stop running away from me.  Besides we still have more to discuss."  He's right, I know he's right, but I can't stay this close to him.

"I really need to go." I try to sound convincing.  I really do, don't I?

"No, you don't."  Guess I wasn't convincing enough.

"Fine, keep talking then." I give in, despite my better judgement.  What can I say?  I am an idiot.

Especially when it comes to this beautiful, stupid boy in front of me.  With his curly hair and dimples, how can I resist?

"Okay, two is easy, too.  Obviously, you just finally gave into my charms.  After I groveled, of course. And you can't forget the huge romantic gesture."  Right, like that would ever happen.

"Oh yeah, and what's that, Little Birdie?" I have to call him on his crap.  Everyone knows Ben isn't the romance type.  Nobody is going to believe any of this.

"Oh, you just leave that to me, Sweetheart."  He really put a lot of effort into that one, didn't he?  I roll my eyes, even though he can't see me.

"I am not your Sweetheart."  I pack as much disdain into the nickname as possible. 

"Oh, yes you are.  You are all mine, remember?"  My breath hitches.  Something about that feels so very right.  I belong to him.

He chuckles.  "You are going to have to get better at this whole faking it thing." 

My heart drops.  Right.  Faking it.  Almost forgot.

"Okay, well you need a better pet name because that one sucks."  I have always hated cheesy pet names.

"Hmm... Babe?" He again sounds amused, he must love making fun of me.  He knows of this weren't fake, he wouldn't call me anything.  He wouldn't even look at me, let alone talk to me.

"Ick.  No."  I'm afraid to say it out loud, but I don't want to just be another girl.  Even if it isn't real.

Because it totally isn't real.

"Okay. No Babe, no Sweetheart... How about Gorgeous? Sexy?"

I groan.  "Nothing typical. Let's make it simple, nothing you've ever called another girl." 

"Well, I can't think of anything else right now.  So, let me think."  He sounds serious, but I doubt he will be able to come up with something new.  I bet he's used them all. Probably just this week.

Gross.

"Oh, I thought of it!"  He seems proud of himself.  "I'll just call you Beautiful."

I sigh, trying to ignore the pitter patter of my heart.  "I said something you've never called another woman."

"I've never called another girl that.  Just you."  Well, there's no ignoring the somersaults my stomach is doing or the warmth in my chest.

Pitter patter.
Pitter patter.

"Oh." I can't quite comprehend what that means. 

"What?  Let me guess, you don't believe me again?"  I can hear the drowsiness seeping into his voice, overtaking the irritation.

Pitter patter.
Pitter patter. 

"I just think it's a little hard to believe.  But I really think I should go now, we both need to sleep."  I start to get up, but he's still holding my hand.  It felt so natural, I completely forgot.

"No, don't leave." Be still my heart.

Pitter patter.
Pitter patter. 

Oh, how I want to stay, but I can't. 

Pitter patter.
Pitter patter. 

Can I?