I... don't know. I just don't think I've been a good person in my short lifetime. There's more I could've done, I guess. But then again, who doesn't think about that question at least once in their life, even if it's phrased a little differently? Could I have done this better? Could I have made better life choices? Could I be funnier, smarter, nicer? Uh, sorry, journal. I'm in one of those weird moods, you know, where I'm contemplating everything in my life.
•••
journal entry #37: april 17, 2015
I want to marry Reagan. Not now, of course. I'm not even eighteen yet, but I just know that I want to marry her. Ever since I met her in seventh grade, I've always been fascinated with Reagan. Her pretty blonde hair, baby blue eyes, button nose, striking smile, pale skin. The list goes on and on and on. And then I got to know her personality through the years, and I was just a complete goner. She's caring and funny and kind and smart and attentive and trustworthy.
I love her, I love her, I love her. That's what my heart says every time I'm around my girlfriend.
She's my best friend, my partner-in-crime, my lover, my everything. I honestly think I'm crazy for being so certain about a girl.
I'm going to marry Reagan Farrow one day.
•••
journal entry #49: may 04, 2015
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. (Yes, I actually wrote all that out). MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!!!!
•••
journal entry #50: may 05, 2015
I was drunk yesterday with Daniel. We were watching Star Wars. Don't ask. (My English is surprisingly intact, even of I'm drunk).
•••
journal entry #72: june 25, 2015
It's my mom's birthday today. It's truly difficult seeing her grow older. One day, she might be gone, and I'll never see her beautiful face again. The thought is scary, but I should leave it for another day. Today is supposed to be about happiness for surviving another year.
I bought her a necklace with the money I've been saving up. My mom's expression of pure joy is something I'll never forget. And when I told her that I'm taking her out for dinner with the rest of my family, she hugged me. She said that she's lucky to have a son like me, and I told my mom that I wouldn't be the person I am if it weren't for her.
Happy birthday, Mom. I love and cherish you.
•••
journal entry #85: july 18, 2015
Sadly, this is the last page of my journal. I've only had this journal for six months, but I managed to fill it up to the brim with my thoughts and emotions and random shit. I wish I didn't end it off so... negatively, I guess. But here it goes.
I mentioned before how I wanted to be a better person, but for some reason, I can't get rid of my old habits. Fuck, I'm still hanging out with terrible people, and I'm doing things I end up regretting, and I don't want this anymore. I need to be better for my parents, my sister, my best friend, my love. I just need to be a good person again. Tonight, I'm gonna do my best to break ties with those people. I have a great life out there, and I'm just ruining it.
And if I don't do anything about it once again, I'll just be a coward.
Thanks for sticking with me, journal.
Wish me luck out there. See ya.
•••
〚END〛
___________________________________
Aaaaand there we have it, folks. I'm trying to seem indifferent, but I'm actually sobbing rn.
What a wonderful way to end a book, am i right? Thank you for sticking with About Axel, those of you who did. It really warms my cold, cold heart.
HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND CRIED.
LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
