Midnight • (Zayn Malik)

cough syrup

After a while Monte and Violet came back into the room along with everyone else. They offered to share their chocolatey treats with me but I still wasn't very hungry. Sienna, Violet, Monte and I all cuddled on the bed while the other boys sat around us as we popped in Matilda. It had always been one of my favorite movies that I brought on road trips of any kind. It's been a childish fantasy of mine to have a mother like Miss Honey. Even more childish to still wish I had Matilda's mind powers. I was told I was smart from a young age so it was always a possibility in my small head. Of course now I've figured out that stuff like that doesn't happen in real life. Reality was hardly like the movies in many ways I've come to know.

When the movie was over everyone but Monte and Louis left. I thanked Lucky for sticking up for me earlier today and he wrapped me in one of his big brotherly hugs. He looked at me with a sort of guilt in his eyes. For what, I wasn't sure. Maybe he felt guilty that he punched Zain but, I doubted it. Maybe for the words Zain said to me even though Lucky didn't say them. Or maybe it wasn't guilt at all. Maybe it was just pity, although I should be used to that look by now.

Finally, I was left alone with Monte and Louis. It wasn't as good as completely alone, but it would have to do.

I'd give anything to have my record player beside me and softly playing some Bon Iver or something. My record player was one of those objects that made you feel at home, even though technically people were supposed to do that for you. In a sense it was people. The people singing to you from a soft fuzzy disk. It was a comfort I didn't feel anywhere else. Except with him, I realized. Another wave of nausea and that gluey taste hit me. All I wanted to do then was sleep but it was still light out and I could only sleep with light in the morning.

"Luna," Louis called softly to me on the floor, "can I talk to you outside for a minute?"

My eyes trailed to a soundly napping Monte and then I nodded. Louis followed behind me and shut the room door quietly.

"He called," he stated softly.

The waves of nausea crashed to where it felt like a constant tsunami. I had zoned out so completely I didn't even hear the phone or Louis talking. When I didn't say anything he continued.

"He called on Monte's phone because he got his number since we all know about that little crush of his," he rolled his eyes though I could tell he wasn't jealous at all, "but um he said he needs to talk to you or see you or something. He didn't say why, although I don't understand why he didn't just try to talk to you here. You would've had to get your bags at some point. I assume he wants to give an apology of sorts. Although I'm not entirely sure, he can be quite unpredictable I've noticed. Oh- and he um said something about letters? If you know anything about what that might mean?"

My eyes spaced out as I remembered Zain talking about writing to Harry to keep in touch. What those letters had to do with anything was beyond me. I wasn't ready to talk to him though. That statement drove even my curiosity away. I wasn't sure how long it would be until I could see him again.

"I just- I need," I sighed, "time. I think I need some time just alone or away from him."

Louis nodded, "I figured. If you want to leave tonight, I don't think anyone will hold it against you."

I started shaking my head, "No, this is Sienna and Liam's goodbye. I have to be there for them. Who knows when I'll see them again."

He nodded again, "Figured that as well. I suppose just don't hesitate to come to me if you need anything. I can be creative."

I could feel my lip quivering, "Thank you Louis."

He leaned over and wrapped me in another hug. I didn't even feel stupid for crying like I usually did. I couldn't feel anything except the cough syrup at the bottom of my stomach.