Midnight • (Zayn Malik)

the incident

I was glowing from the inside out practically all day and it was a wonder how it hadn't fizzled out by the last block of the day. I mean the glow may have been the reflection of the warming spring sun on my pale skin but I liked to think some of it came from within. It had been a few weeks since Zain and I went skateboarding. I was feeling a lot better about myself and I didn't know if it was because Violet didn't glare as much at Zain every time he was around or the fact that Zain was around in general. At first this whole "hanging out" thing was completely vomit inducing and I had seriously contemplated painting my entire room black. But even the vomit was better than the empty/insecure way I felt before. Now it's more like an endearing annoyance, which summed Zain up pretty well I would say. I didn't call him my boyfriend or anything and he didn't call me his girlfriend. We were just two people enjoying each others' company. Which was cool I guess now. I don't know, I guess somewhere deep, deep down in the black cavern of my soul was a longing for it to be a little more. Which, yes, is completely and totally vomit inducing but hey we all get sick sometimes.

Violet, Sienna, Monte and I were planning another sleepover soon since the last one we had a few weekends ago was such a success. Since Violet and I worked at the ice cream shop now, we used our employee discount to cater our little over night get together. Life was pretty sweet at the moment (pun intended). Of course, besides the occasional scream-fest between my mother and I. I couldn't figure out why things were getting worse, but the more they happened the closer that night was to resurfacing in my mind. Not a day goes by where I don't think about it, but I hadn't tried to remember since the day I threw color out of my life. Zain had over heard the most recent fight and he didn't mention anything about it, but I could tell he was dying to ask me what was up. I couldn't even remind myself, let alone tell another person. Violet only knows because she was the one to help me through it. Other than that, it was just me who knew, since my mother pretended like it never happened in the first place.

I just told Zain that I'd see him after work when Violet linked arms with me to walk to my car. We just car pooled now since I was serious about saving the environment and she couldn't complain seems how she no longer had to pay for gas. It was a relatively easy job and we both loved it. Just a few hours after school during the week and longer shifts on Saturdays since it was closed on Sundays and we got paid a little bit above minimum wage.

Throughout the short drive, we rolled the windows down to let in the fresh warm air and sang along with Melanie Martinez and Halsey. Violet and I had been a fan of those two queens since the beginning and they both had just recently gifted us with new albums. After I gave everyone myocardial infarction with the sight of my hair cut, they all started calling me Nula. I rolled my eyes after they explained the nickname (Halsey is an anagram of her real name, Ashley, and since I now had the same hair cut as her... it's kind of ridiculous and I hate them for it but I also love them). I didn't mind since the hair was exactly what I was going for and now dressing up for Halloween would be a breeze.

"You know what my favorite part about this job is?" Violet asked me as I swirled up a strawberry cone for the little girl waiting behind the counter.

"What?" I handed the girl her ice cream along with a few napkins.

"These cute ass uniforms," she grinned at me.

I looked down at the pastel purple, pink and yellow polo and the white tennis skirt it was tucked into. I gave her a look before going to take a dad and son's order. She tapped my mint baseball cap with the company logo on the front. The only thing I enjoyed about this problematic pastel outfit was my skirt. It was completely white and free of color which I understand was an extremely big risk working with ice cream and all but we weren't allowed to wear jeans or "goth" attire. I thought it was a ridiculous rule but at least they weren't going to make me dye my hair back to its natural color. That was on some of the uniform codes for a few places I wanted to apply at. I'm pretty sure that's violating my rights as a human being but whatever.