Broken

| 29 | Second Guessing

I walk through the doors and go straight to my locker, but my heart sinks when I don't see a certain someone standing there waiting for me. Tyler should be here. He should be here with his beautiful smile and rippling muscles. But he's not.

I start to put my things away and get ready for first hour, but then he finally shows up. He pops up next to me looking like his cute self with his tousled hair and ripped jeans. He couldn't possibly get any more attractive.

"Thank God! I thought you weren't going to show up today." I say happily as I give him a hug, but it very obviously shows when he shrugs me off. I stand back in my place feeling my whole body grow heavier.

Now I notice that he's not smiling. His eyes don't meet mine, but are glued to the floor.

"Grace, we need to talk about that... kiss." he says as he runs a hand through his gorgeous hair, but I don't stare for long because I know the worst is coming.

"It wasn't a good idea. I know what I said, but now that I've thought it over, I feel like we just threw away a perfectly good friendship."

Do you know that feeling where you start to cry, but it's that cry. The cry that starts off with a lump in your throat but causes your chest to ache. When your stomach starts to feel pain that seems to be worse than a simple stomach ache from being sick. That moment where you literally lose your breath because you feel the actual life drain out of you.

I feel it all right now.

I have fought this entire friendship to have him. I have fought to have his lips meet mine like they did the other night. I've fought too hard for Tyler Smith, and now that he I have him, he wants to back away? That is the most heartbreaking thing to happen to a person.

"Are you kidding me?" are the only words I manage to get out of my mouth as I meet his eyes. Finally, he sees me, and he sees the damage he has just done. I feel like crap. I feel like absolute crap.

"Screw you. I told you the other night that I was in love with you. I told you in detail every single thing that I loved about you. I told you everything, and I got to kiss you. It was never a friendship to me! It was a one sided crush! But no. You don't care do you. You don't even care about any of th-"

He rushes his lips to mine so fast that I just stand here, stunned, as his lips seem to attack mine. His lips molding into mine in ways I never thought they could. His hands sliding down my back setting my whole body on fire as I crave more of his touch. He cups my cheeks in his hands giving my goosebumps that trail down my spine. He finally pulls away from me, painfully slow. I can feel his breath, hot and heavy, tickling my lips as he tries to take a deep breath.

"This is why. I do love you Grace. I really do. I want you. I want you more than you ever thought you wanted me, but I am scared to death that you're gonna break my heart. I'm terrified that in the end of all of this, I'll be the one trying to get over you."

"Don't you dare say that. If anyone's gonna hurt the other it will be you hurting me. I sat right in front of you this whole time, waiting for you to see that I loved you. I watched you look at Emma the way I always wanted you to look at me."

"Grace," he says with a small smile playing at his lips, "I only looked at her like that to see if it would get a rise out of you. I just wanted to see if you felt the same way."

I can't even begin to speak now. The conversation has taken a different turn. I watch as his smile fades and he looks the slightest bit angry.

"And you know what, Grace. You were not obvious. I was obvious. How could you not notice that I was in love with you? I told you time and time again how beautiful you were. I was caught staring at you so many times. How could you blame that all on me?" he exclaims, and right now, all I want to do is kiss him. I want to feel his lips on me. I want it all over again. I want the rush in my stomach to be back there again.

"I didn't think I would be that lucky to get a guy like you."

"No, I didn't think I would be that lucky to get a girl like you."

The silence between us is so real, it seems impossible to fill it, but just when it seems as though no one will speak, he does.

"I want to go out tonight. I want to be alone with you. I want us to have our time. I don't want to kiss in Lindsey's kitchen or in this school where everyone is watching us. I want to kiss you, I want to grab you and pull you closer to me. I want to hear you breathless because of me." he says as he steps closer to me, barely closing the gap, and his voice turns down lower and lower sending tingles up my spine. I feel this undescribable feeling erupt in my stomach making me struggle to get a deep breath.

"I-I'd um.. like that a lot." I stutter out, and he grins at my loss for words and grabs my waist as our bodies collide. I struggle not to gasp or make any sound for that matter as his face is a few mere inches away from mine. I'm able to see all of his features so up close and in my face.

"So, all of those times you were struggling for words, I was just turning you on the whole time?" he says to me with a mischievous grin.

"I-I don't even know what y-you're saying." I stutter out again, and by now he's so close to my face that I can not handle it anymore. I reach on the tips of my toes and kiss his lips to the point where I can't feel my own. I can feel him smiling as I do at my sudden need to kiss him. Realizing my actions, I pulls away and cover my mouth with my hand. Someone needs to stop that thing from having a mind of its own.

"So I was definitely turning you on."

"Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"Turning me on. It's so.. dirty."

"You so like it like that."

"Tyler!!" I exclaim as I slap his arm. This only seems to encourage him.

"Grace!!" he says mimicking me, "Don't lie to yourself. You want me, and I want you. Don't lie."

"I never said I didn't want you, there's just things we don't say out loud." I tell him as I look around the halls to make sure no one heard him and his dirty mouth.

"Grace, are you worried that people will hear me?" he asks in the sexiest voice I have ever heard. Ok, turning me on? Not really wrong.

"Tyler shut up." I tell him and he laughs that beautiful laugh that gives me chills.

He steps terribly close to me. To the point where my back is pressed up to the lockers in fear of him touching me. If he does, I might not be able to contain myself. I know I won't be able to.

"I'm gonna pick you up at 6:30 for a movie. The theater will be dark and we'll sit in the back.." and with every word he says he steps closer, making me lose my breath completely. My best is beginning to tighten up at my heart pounding in my chest.

"Stop." I tell him as I feel my face turning red.

"Baby girl. Don't tell me I'm turn-"

"Tyler, I'm going to class now." I say as I push him away and head down the hallway.

"I'll miss you."

"Shut up."

~*~

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