Rather Be On My Own

Chapter Twenty: If I could...(Luke's P.O.V)

Not edited.

We've just landed in our destination it's night time. My hometown. The place where I grew up and had all the first things in life. I breathed in the air and felt myself relax in the sense of familiarity. I love Canada is a very nice place but I had always wished that my dad didn't have to transfer to Toronto. But being the proprietor of the Caldwell chain of hotels he was obliged to take in charge of the brand new hotel.

My dad was staying back in Toronto whereas my mom, my elder brother Will, my younger sister Emily and I came here as our spring break was going on.

"Luke?" I heard my mom squeal. When I turned around I saw she had two heavy looking traveling bags in her hand and a suitcase being rolled by her.

"Mom, who told you to carry these where are my lovely siblings?" I emphasized on the sarcasm while taking both the bags from her hands. She rolled her eyes at me. Because I knew my brother went to get the baggage and my baby sister was just beside her, she had her tiny bag on her arms which was enough for her as she's so small. She's ten, I always feel old in front of her being nearly eight years older than her.

Those bags where heavy. Damn. It's obvious though as we are meeting our family after a long time so we had gifts for them filled in nearly every bag. It was kind of a ritual to bring gifts for family members after we visited abroad.

I looked around for my brother and when I finally saw him, I waved my hand seeking his attention. The airport was relatively less crowded so he didn't take much long to get those bags. He had plenty baggage with him as well. When he saw me a glorious smile formed in his face as if he's been relieved. When he approached me that devil handed me another suitcase.

"Hey, do you think I have 3 hands?" I said in annoyance trying to balance both the suitcase handle and the smaller bag in one hand.

" Do what I'm saying." He said calmly. Like seriously? Does he think I'm superman?

"Why? I already have two gigantic bags in my hand."

"I'm older than you. Listen to me."

"You're just two years older than ..- I was cut off by my mom when she reminded us to behave. I knew I didn't do anything wrong but I let it go as saw a man holding a placard in his hand written. ' Mrs. Caldwell' when we exited the airport. Maybe he's the guy who came to receive us.

We got into the car after managing to fit the bags and suitcase in the trunk.

I could see the known streets as we passed by. A little had changed since the last time I was here. We were heading to our home. It felt good to that I'll be staying in my comfort zone for two weeks though I wanted to stay back forever. It was not easy for me to cope up in a new city, new school with new people but I guess that's when my amazing character attracted people towards me and I became well known in that school too, like why won't the good looking goal keeper of the football team be famous? But I always felt alone their without the special people in my life.

I missed my friends but with the advanced technology we were always in touch. But it was not the same. Besides, I was never connected to the person I vehemently wanted to be. I sighed as I fished my mobile out of my pocket nonchalantly to keep my mind away from thoughts about the certain person.

My family kept on talking on some boring topic when I put the earphones on its designated place and played ' We don't talk anymore'. Why the freaking hell on earth must every thing remind me of her.

I closed my eyes and replayed the scene in my head when I saw her for the last time. It was the last day if our exam in seventh grade. She was so happy that the exams had finished finally. I can still picture the sparkle in her eyes. I had a good look at her when she wasn't looking. She was so beautiful. My heart wrenches every time I think there could be something between us.

Now I gave attention to the song. Charlie Puth had a nice voice but I don't like the type of songs he makes, I'm more into Pitbull stuffs. But this song had too much of my feelings so I listen to it occasionally.

just heard you found the one, you been looking
You been looking for
I wish I would have known that wasn't me
Cause even after all this time
I still wonder
Why I can't move on
Just the way you did so easily

Don't wanna know
Kinda dress you're wearing tonight
If he's holdin onto you so tight
The way I did before
I overdosed

I sometimes wonder if she has moved on because I know she had feelings for me too but my mine were becoming unhealthy for me that's why I had to fight with myself everyday whether to approach or not.

I couldn't dare to imagine her in someone else's embrace as well. She messes my head always. She makes me crazy, crazy for her. It was easy to cut ties with her but it was hard to fight the urge to talk to her when my subconscious mind told me that she's waiting for me. But how can I do it ? When reasons are telling that I don't deserve her and my selfish part is forcing me to believe that she's dangerous for me.

What have I not tried to get rid of my feelings since the day I left the city where she lived, I lived previously. I have always been a flirt and some girls were foolish to think that I had feelings for them. I tried to utilize my quality get intimate with girls but I ended up liking girls who had something in similar with her. Be that her beauty, shyness, quietness, witty character, simplicity, elegant character or the way she bit her lips when she'd be bored.
The car came to a stop recklessly bringing me back to earth. I glared at the driver, " Excuse me, Mr. . Can't you drive carefully there's are child in this car."

I looked around to my right to see we've arrived at out sweet home. I've missed this place as much as I've missed my family members. I jumped out of the car and opened the door. My dad had some of his people clean up our house before we came. I saw the house and felt my heart fluttering as if I've met an old friend.

I quickly ran upstairs where my room was situated. I opened the door and gazed at my before jumping onto it it felt so comfortable that I wanted to sleep right away. But I freshen up first then went straight to bed.

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