Love Me boyxboy (EDITING)

~1~

"You're telling me the truth?"

I nodded quickly. "I promise. I'm not cheating."

He stared at me, weighing my words in his mind to see if I was lying or not. I wasn't cheating. Even if I wanted to, I wasn't that kind of person.

Slowly, his tight, painful grip loosened and he calmed down, giving me a hug and rubbing my back. "Good. You love me, right? Say it," he demanded.

"I love you, Jax. I love you." His thumb caressed my cheek.

"You have to stop talking to that guy." He let go of me, his eyes piercing my own. I could see him waiting for me to challenge him; to refuse his wish. I gave up Jonah once before, and I hurt him that way. I wasn't going to do it again.

"Jax, you know I can't."

"That kid is lame and useless. I'm the one you need to be with." He grabbed my wrists. "Because of me, you're popular. He can't give you what I can give you, Zion. You hear me?"

I ripped my hands out of his hold and glared at him. "You must be deaf, Jax. I said I can't!"

"No, you can and you will!" He shoved me backwards into the wall and I grunted, my breath picking up. "You said you love me."

"When will you say you love me?" I barked back, watching him clench his fists.

"I will when I do."

I bit my lip, suppressing my tears. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Why would I even waste my tears on a guy like him? Why waste my breath?

When Jaxon and I met, he was very charming and charismatic. I wasn't usually attracted to boys, but his personality won me over. He was the prefect boyfriend, and he told me about how his previous relationship crashed and burned. He'd been cheated on, and it was a painful experience according to him; one he couldn't relive. I wanted to feel sorry for him and I honestly did until he started growing cold and distant. He had never told me he loved me and I found myself wishing he would. I wanted him to be head over heels for me, but that wasn't likely. I'd tried to get away from him quite a few times actually. Unfortunately, I didn't succeed because he knew my weakness. And with his knowledge of it, he subjugated and imprisoned me with his detrimental words.

My weakness? It was the crushing and dying need to be accepted. I could hate myself for it. Maybe Jaxon wasn't the one oppressing me. Maybe ... I was oppressing myself. This was my fault. I probably deserved this.

"There's no point fighting me, Zion. I'll win." He gritted his teeth, averting his scary eyes. "Come here, I'm walking you to class."

"I can go by myself -"

"Dammit, Z, just do what I say!" he yelled. I shut my mouth and pushed myself off the wall, relunctantly entering his hold. He escorted me to my class and stopped right outside the door. I tried to focus on the students swarming the hallways.

"I'll meet up with you during lunch, okay?" Jaxon told me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I nodded, not in the mood to argue or I'd pay for it later. "And what I said earlier... look, I was mad and I lied. I do love you. Alright? I love you, Zion."

I wanted to believe that was true. There were times he'd look at me and I actually felt like he wanted me and cared for me.

"I love you, too, Jaxon," I whispered quietly, not meeting his eyes.

"Okay. Good." He pulled me a little closer, and I understood that little gesture. I leaned forward, offering my lips to him and he accepted them with his own. When I tried to pull away, he tightened his grip on my waist, his fingers practically digging into my skin.

I gasped in slight pain. "Jax, stop," I managed to say against his lips before he let me go entirely. Without even looking at me, he huffed and walked away. I sucked in a breath, trying to keep my composure as I walked into my class.

I couldn't describe how relieved I felt to see Jonah. I immediately took my seat next to him.

"Hey, Jonah," I greeted.

He smiled. "Hi again. That boyfriend of yours is really rough. He hates me." He rubbed his arm, where Jaxon had shoved him aside.

"I'm sorry," I apologized sincerely, knowing that feeling all too well.

"It's cool. Hate him, to to be honest. You don't look too happy. Did he make you mad?"

"No. Yes," I contradicted. "He's frustrating. Can you believe he said I should stop being your friend?" I shook my head. "I told him no way. He thinks something's going on between us."

Jonah ran his index finger over his bottom lip, biting it. "And what did you say?"

"I said nothing's going on. He doesn't believe me."

Jonah rolled his eyes. "Boyfriends, right?"

I shot him an amused glance. "What? How would you know? Ever had one?" I smirked.

"No. I'd like to have one if I'm honest."

I gaped at him and faced him in my seat. "Are you kidding?" I whispered, leaning forward. His cheeks flushed, giving me the answer I needed. "You're not kidding!"

"Well... listen, there's this guy - he's awesome. Like, really awesome."

"What's his name?"

"Noise."

"Noise?" I deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. "His name... is noise?"

"Not exactly. But, that's my codename for him."

I chuckled. "Alright. So this Noise kid, do I know him?"

Jonah's eyes brightened. "I don't think anyone knows him as much as I do. We have so much in common, too. He has these really nice eyes, the best hair I've ever seen... honestly, he's perfect."

I smiled but my mind was racing. Perfect, huh? I thought Jaxon was, too, until he turned into a monster. "Okay, well, make sure you tell him how you feel." I let out a chuckle. "I always thought you liked girls."

"I do. But this boy is too special to give up for some girl."

"Whoa man!" I laughed.

"Hey, you liked girls too before you started dating that d-bag."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I figured I was bi. I still like girls, but it's like you... Jax was too special to pass up." Too bad that wasn't the case anymore. "My dads don't label themselves as anything. Which is how it should be in my opinion."

"I know right. This is America, the only things that need labels are products. And why do people have to come out? Straight people don't."

I chuckled. Jonah was such an understanding, amazing friend. I always beat myself up over what I did to him a long time ago before I ever moved to New York. I couldn't believe I did that. I was a fool who wanted to fit in. And sadly, I still was.

"So... does Noise play sports?" I asked. Jonah smiled and nodded. "Does he... go here?"

"Yep."

I smirked. "Are you gonna tell him you like him?"

Jonah scratched the back of his head, doubting the possibility. "I want to. Hell, I've even tried to, but it's a bit complicated. I'm not sure he feels the same way. I wish... I wish there was a way I could tell. A sign he could give, you know."

My face fell. "I'm sorry, J. But, drop some hints, okay? You never know. Life is never what it seems, I swear."