I Miss You

Chapter 1: Memories

I'm sorry
Can you please come back?
I miss you.

Jihoon woke up, he felt something wet on his cheeks, it was his tears. He used his hand to wipe it away, he had the same nightmare again. From the day they broke up, Jihoon always had the same nightmare and woke up with tears.
Since when he became so weak? Probably when he left.

Jihoon looked at his phone, it's 9:00 a.m. He got up and went to the bathroom to clean himself.
It's Saturday, Jihoon didn't need to go to work. He decided to visit their high school which is full of their memories.

Jihoon took a bus and went to his high school. He walked into the classroom 3-1. He sit on the seat near the window, which was Jihoon's seat. There was a sentence being carved on his desk: Jihoon, I love you.

Jihoon used his fingers to feel the uneven pattern of the sentence, slowly tears came out again. Jihoon hated himself being so weak since they broke up. He wasn't such kind of a weak person before but because of him.

"I miss you....Can you please come back?" Jihoon mutters.

They've been best friends since elementary school. Jihoon and him were like brothers, they sticked together always and had so much fun together.

Jihoon figured out his feeling towards him was in high school year 1. He started to create some distance between them but instead he kept on approached Jihoon. One day, they confessed to each other and started to date each other.

This originally was a relationship that everyone was happy for them, because they knew they were meant for each other.

However, Jihoon's mom couldn't accept the fact that her son was a gay.

Since the day Jihoon's mother knew his son was a gay. She used different method to block their communication.
His mom kept on scolding him and refused to let Jihoon went out with him. Jihoon's mother even asked the school to change the class for Jihoon so they couldn't meet each other during classes.

Jihoon was tired of it, although he loved him so much, he couldn't stand this kind of relationship.
He wanted to hug, to kiss, to cuddle or maybe to do something more with him. He wanted to do things like what the other couples normally did.
However, he couldn't. He started to think maybe breaking up was a better choice then continuing this kind of relationship. At least, things will be easier for both of them...

Therefore one day Jihoon called him out.
"Let's break up." Jihoon said very calmly.
"What? Don't joke Jihoonie. It's not april fools day." He replied, taking it as a joke.
"I'm not joking. I am very serious. Let's break up. I can't stand this kind of relationship anymore." Jihoon said.
"Everything will be fine Jihoon. I've been kept on finding your mother everyday and persuading her to allow us. Things will become better Jihoon as long as we are together." He said with confident.

"Then how long will it takes to let my mother approves us? A year? 3 years? 5 years? Who knows? And are we going to continue this kind of not like in a relationship but it's actually in a relationship thing during the time you persuade my mom? Don't be silly and innnocent. I can't stand it, I'm really tired of it. Break up is the best way." Jihoon said.

Jihoon didn't look up because he was afraid of looking at his reaction. Jihoon loved him so much, he didn't want to make such decision but maybe this decision will make things easier for both of them. At least he didn't need to continue to find his mother to persuade her everyday.

"Jihoon. The reason why I continue to find your mother everyday not giving up because I have you by my side. As long as you love me, I can do whatever it takes to let your mother approve, I can tolerate everything. But... It's seems like I am really too innocent." He said, teasing himself and said "I am really too innocent thought that we are together during this hard times but actually, after all. I'm all alone."

Jihoon immediately looked up and wanted to deny his words however Jihoon saw tears in his eyes. Jihoon couldn't speak when he saw the people infront of him was crying.

The people infront of him was the one who Jihoon loved the most and he was crying. Jihoon never saw him cried so hard before since Jihoon knew him. Jihoon wanted to cry also, he tried his very best to control his tears not coming out.

Jihoon looking at the people standing infront of him stopped crying, instead he started to sob. He looked right into Jihoon's eyes and said "As you wish. Let's break up." He finished and leave Jihoon behind.

All memories were recalled back and Jihoon started to cry again.
"I...I miss you...I'm sorry...." He kept on repeating this sentence while crying. He could never forget, how hard he had cried on that day, how weak he became since they broke up, how desperate he wanted to take back what he had said.

Jihoon lied on the desk, continue looking the sentence being carved on the desk while his fingers went through those words. He missed those days, when his mother hasn't discovered he is a gay. He missed his beloved one. He missed him to desperately.

"I'm sorry, today's is saturday the school isn't open today, wh-" A voice came in.
Jihoon noticed the teachers here probably already found him so he immediately wiped away his tears and started to explained "I'm sorry,I was once studied-" he looked up and saw a familiar face which he hasn't seen a long time ago.

"Joshua?"
"Jihoon?"

a/n: How is it? I know it's a bit angst but it'll be fine later on. And hum maybe a little guessing game? Guess who is the boyfriend of Jihoon? 😂 But even you guess correctly there's no prize for you sorry 🌚

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy reading this and remember to vote and leave comments to let me know what do you think about it. Thankyou for reading this 💕

photo ©애기오빠이지훈