The Breaking Game: Kevin. [ON HOLD]

Kevin 19

-KEVIN 19-

"Be yourself's saviour." Basa ko sa quote na nakasulat sa maliit na sticky note sa side mirror ng kotse ko. I get this weird sticky notes with quotes on them every 5th of the month. Ito na ang pang lima. I wonder who's doing this and how? nasa loob ng gate ng bahay ko ang kotse ko kaya paano iyon nangyayari na may nakakapag lagay nito dito. I just sighed and throw the paper away.

I entered my car and started the engine. Pupunta ako ngayon sa mall para maghanap ng susuotin para sa magaganap na party next week. Party iyon ng buong ospital nila Mom and Dad. They're gonna announce ang pag reretiro ni Dad at ang pagiging president at head doctor ni Kuya. For the past 5 months naging mas maayos na ang relasyon namin ni kuya kay Dad. Mom is right he was sorry for what he has done at ramdam naman namin ni kuya ngayon ang pagbawi niya. He's very nice to us and he can't stop telling our relatives and his friends how proud he is na kahit nalayo ako ng landas ay maayos ang buhay ko.

A few minutes later nakarating na ako sa mall. I parked and exited my car. Hindi muna ako pumasok sa mall at hinintay ko ang pagdating ni Elora. While waiting for her, i took my phone out and searched for Kevin's name. Naglabasan ang mga balita tungkol sa kaniya. He is still an amazing artist pero nasa Paris siya ngayon. 3 months ago he confirmed sa media na hiwalay sila ni Violet. I even saw some videos of Violet crying and not giving a comment about it.

I just smiled, not because of the issue but for his new paintings. Hindi na ulit ito tulad noong kakaalis niya lang. May kulay na ito ulit ay napakaganda. Some of his paintings are new to me. Kung dati ay parang mga kulay lang ito o mga tanawin ng mga lugar, ngayon ay may tao na. He told me once that he hates painting faces or people pero may isang art niya ang nakakuha ng pansin ko. It's his painting 3months ago. Its a girl wearing white with flower crowns. Walang muka ang babae. He named it Stasia.

"Huy! Stalk mode ka nanaman jan!" Halos maitapon ko ang phone ko nang gulatin ako ni Elora.

"Ang hilig mo naman mang gulat. Tara na nga!" Tumawa siya ako naman ay tinago ang phone ko sa bag at pumasok na sa mall.

"Aysus iniiba usapan. Hanggang kelan ka ba mananahimik at mangiistalk kay Kevin? I remember you told me na ok ka na. Your life is back on track, your career is all good, bakit hindi mo pa ibalik iyong isa pang dahilan ng kasiyahan mo?" Tanong ni Elora sa'kin. I just smiled at her and sighed. Kahit ako ay hindi ko rin alam ang sagot sa tanong na iyon. Hindi ako sumagot at pumasok na lang sa isang boutique.

"Well i heard from Kelvin na uuwi na si Kevin before their birthday. Two weeks Ana, In two weeks." Pinagdiinan pa niya sa'kin.

"What do you want me to do? Ako nga mismo hindi alam ang gagawin ko. What if he changed his mind? What if he doesn't love me? I dont know Elora natatakot ako." Sabi ko sa kaniya. I sighed again.

"Start all over! Be friends with him again. I'm sure he would lke that. Based on Kelvin, maayos naman na si Kevin. That's why he's ready to go back. Simulan niyo ang nasira, ituloy niyo ang nararamdaman niyo. Because tomorrow is not promised, don't waste your time." Napaisip ako sa sinabi niya. Ngumiti na lang ako pero may pagaalala pa rin akong nararamdaman.

There's just so many what ifs. I know myself that i still love him. I am still waiting for him. Ang inaalala ko lang ay baka hindi na niya ako kailangan tulad ng pangangailangan ko sa kaniya. 5 months is not a long time. But that is enough to fix yourself and let go of the people you thought you need. The day went fast at naisipan din namin na umuwi na matapos mag shopping.

I drove back to my house my parents gave me. Nang makarating ako sa bahay ay hinintay ko bumukas ang gate para sa drive way. Habang hinihintay iyon, i saw a couple walking by. They look so happy, holding hands, talking and laughing. I was so focused on fixing myself. Nakalimutan ko na yata magbigay ng oras sa pagibig. Ilang linggo din akong kinulit ni Liam but i made it clear to him that i don't want to be with him anymore. He accepted it and i never saw him after that. Nang makapasok ako ay dumiretso ako sa kwarto ko. I always live alone after i ran away pero dahil close kami noon ni Kevin pag gusto ko ng kasama may natatakbuhan ako. How i miss those times when i can just call him or see him whenever i want. I went to the shower mukang kailangan ko magpalamig. Masyado na kong maraming iniisip. After my quick shower and night routine biglang may kumatok sa kwarto ko.

"Ma'am may package po kayo? Dumating ito kanina." Narinig kong boses ng guard ko iyon. Lumabas ako ng kwarto at kinuha ang box sa kaniya. I thanked and dismissed him.

Pagpasok ko sa kwarto ko binuksan ko agad iyong box. May tatlong maliliit pang box sa loob nito at bawat isa ay may note.

First box: Wear this if you forgive me.
Binuksan ko ang box na iyon at napangiti ako. I know who is this from sa unang tingin ko pa lang. Its a thin gold necklace with a little heart pendant. Noong una kong nakilala si Kevin i always take him out. Minsan sa park madalas sa mall. I was cheering him up. I once saw this necklace and told him that if i hate someone and they gave me this, papatawarin ko kaagad. Of course i was joking back then pero mukang tinotoo niya. Hindi ko alam kung maiiyak o matataw ako. Nakangiti kong sinuot ang kwintas.

Second box: letting you go was not a good idea, but it made me realize on things i should know.
Binuksan ko ang pangalawang box at doon tumulo ang luha ko. It's our first picture together. Malaki ang ngiti ko pero si Kevin hindi mo malaman kung naiinis o natutuwa. Bad mood siya non kasi naflat ang gulong niya. As always i tried cheering him up. Kiniliti ko siya non habang hinihintay namin ang kapatid niya. Nakasimangot siya non pero tumatawa nang kuhain ko ang picture na to.

Third box: I am alright. Are you?
Now this is a candid picture of me smiling and looking at his painting after he told me he moved on from the pain noong ireject ni Violet ang proposal niya. I smiled.

"Yes i am alright now. Much better." I told myself. Gumaa ang loob ko. I think i am ready to face him again. Lahat ng what ifs sa isip ko ay nawala. I trust him and i will wait for him.