demons » joshler

2

it's a good thing that tyler handles the lyric writing.

josh has tried to write them before. he's not very poetic, he finds, he's too literal.

he still doesn't quite get all of tyler's typing quirks, either. he tried to use them once. people yelled at him.

does that count as being noticed?

they're on a big tour now. very exciting for tyler, very terrifying for josh.

he threw up twice this week, but blamed it on sudden food poisoning. tyler believed him. tyler wants so desperately to believe that josh is okay. 

tyler talks about his demons a lot. it's pretty clear. they're everywhere; in his lyrics, his tweets, his actions on stage. everyone knows.

they think of josh as support. he's tyler's best friend, he's there to support him, back him up. there's no way josh could have some demons of his own, because how could he support tyler then? and if he does have demons, why doesn't he ever talk about them?

yeah, okay, josh is scared. and that's the truth. he has demons, he has too many, and no one knows. not one single person on this planet other than him. not even tyler, his absolute best friend. 

he doesn't plan on telling anyone, either. maybe someday, someone will notice, and then the secret will be out, but so far, no one has.

and he's fine with that, because finding out would mean attention. and just the thought of that nearly sends him to the nearest bathroom to throw up again. luckily, he doesn't. 

tyler keeps sneaking him weird looks. right before the show, he'll corner josh. this is the first time it's happened. usually, tyler is bouncing around, chatting up everyone around him, while josh drums on his knees and shakes from terror and adrenaline.

now, though, tyler is talking to him. he's asking if he can do tyler a favor.

yeah, josh can do that. what's the favor?

well, tyler blushes, and scratches his head sheepishly, it's a bit odd, apparently. can he speak at the concert tonight? say a couple words?

speak in front of thousands of people? josh's mouth is drying up right then. no, he answers quickly, and his face is pale. no, no, no, i'm sorry tyler, but there's no way-

tyler blinks at him. why not? you're not scared of crowds.

right. tyler doesn't-

still, there's no way he can do it. he mutters something about a sore throat and slips off to the bathroom, locking himself in and retching for a good two minutes, but his stomach is empty and nothing comes up.

imagine that. speaking in front of thousands of people. no, there's no way josh could ever do that.

he does wonder what tyler wanted him to say, though, and why he couldn't just say it himself.