Eyes of Azure | Assassination Classroom

:: Attempt 20 | Tragedy + Time ::

I'm not even supposed to feel this much pain.

I take in another tremulous breath, exhaling through my nose as the familiar burn starts to sting the back of my eyes.

"Do you think.." I swallow thickly, avoiding his gaze. His eyes are too penetrating, for lack of a better word.

He has always seen right through me; through all the walls I've built, all of the lies I have to tell. He just broke them down with a simple, sincere smile.

I don't even know how. He just did.

I try again, an errant tear trickling down my cheek and past my notice.

"Do you think.. I wanted him to? Do you think I wanted to kiss Asano Gakushu..?"

Right in front of you? Right where anyone can see? Do you really see me as someone who's easily taken advantage of?

There's so many questions I want to ask, so many answers I want to hear, so many lies I regret ever telling. But I don't say anything more.

Basil shakes his head, a torn look in his eyes.

"It didn't look it, no.. But you could've torn 'im off you.. Hell, you've thrown me across the room more times than I can count on fingers and toes. I just.." He pauses, looking up at me with those green eyes of his, a torrent of emotions sweeping through his gaze faster than I can ever decipher them.

"Why didn't you?"

I look away, a derisive laugh escaping my lips. "Why didn't I..?" I repeat softly, pressing a hand over my disheveled forelocks, pushing them away from my eyes.

I look at him, ignoring the tears which prick at my eyes, blurring my vision as they fall without my permission.

"How am I supposed to answer a question I don't even know the answer to?"

His eyes widen, realization flitting through the evergreen pools before he hangs his head, his arms wrapping around my waist as he pulls me into an embrace. His chin rests atop my head, his voice a low whisper in my ear.

"Take your time." He says quietly, even as I rest my head against his collarbone, the scent of mint from his school blazer infiltrating my sense of smell. "Just.. Make sure he doesn't make you do anything you don't want to do, 'kay?"

I close my eyes, letting the waters pull me down and under, into the darkness where I couldn't see anything, where I become numb to everything and anything around me—a limitless nothingness. Yet his warmth chases away the cold, bringing me back to the surface, back to the reality I don't want to face.

"I shouldn't even be crying." I say, my voice a hoarse, broken whisper as I relent to his silent plea, wrapping my arms around him.

He hums, the sound a gentle vibration which somehow soothes my frayed nerves. "It's fine. Crying can clear your face." He attempts to chuckle, only for it to come out as a weak laugh.

"Damn, I wish Abel was here.." He mutters under his breath.

I look up, a weak, humorless smile tugging at my lips as I push myself up onto my tiptoes. Simultaneously, I reach up, pulling him down as I rest my forehead against his.