Brown Sugar

5

"Let's play a game," Carlton suggested, trying to catch my attention.

I hated when my parents left me with him with all my heart and soul. It was boring and he never let me watch Rollie Poly Ollie. And he hovered over me like a helicopter. I'm not a baby. I'm a big girl. I wanted to go outside and play with the other girls like Hadia,  but I couldn't because her friends didn't like me. My parents told me to stay inside and practice for the placement test that would help me get into better ranking schools. 

I unfortunately didn't end up doing so. I would be inside with my older cousin, Carlton while he did whatever he felt like doing. I didn't like being around him. He made me uncomfortable. He did and said things that made me want to go into my room and lock the door.  While he found things to entertain himself, I played with my dolls, or I read a different Junie B. Jones book. 

Though I was only six, I had a good head on my shoulders and was great at reading. It was my favorite thing to do. 

"What kind of game?" I asked not really looking up from my Bratz doll's head as I braided her hair into plaits.

I grabbed the brush and popped her for imaginarily moving like Mommy would've did me.

"It's a fun one, I promise. Come here," Carlton replied.

I sat my doll and her brush down and went over to Carlton. He scooped me into his lap and smiled. He was ugly.

"We're going to play the body parts game, so I can see how smart you are," He said.

"Okay," I shrugged my shoulders. 

I don't think he realized how smart I was. I knew more than he thought, and I was a lot older than he thought as well.

"What's this?" He pointed to my nose.

"This is my nose."

"What's this?" He pointed to my mouth.

"This is my mouth. It has teeth inside." I opened my mouth widely, allowing him to see my teeth.

I was missing a few, but there were still teeth in there mostly. The game continued on, with me naming body parts until he went to a spot Mommy told me to never let nobody but the doctor touch me in.

"What's this?"

"Don't touch me there," I said trying to snatch away from him.

"No, tell me what it is," Carlton replied sternly.

"Mommy said don't let anybody touch me there. Don't touch me there," I attempted to push his hand away. but was beat by his strength.

He continued to press his fingers against my no no parts, causing tears to pour from my eyes. 

"Stop crying," He commanded harshly, before throwing a hand over my mouth to muffle my screams.

"I don't like this game anymore," I cried.

"Well, it isn't a came anymore. Now it's a secret. And if you tell, I'll kill our whole family and you won't have anybody," He threatened as he pushed my dress up and pulled his pants down.

~

The sound of the radar tone I had set for my alarm woke me from my slumber. Thank God. I didn't want to be in that dream anymore. It wasn't even a dream. It was a nightmare. And I hated reliving it continually.