Funny not so short story

9 0 0
                                    

Five voice actors audition for a cartoon. These are the auditions.
Carol is the casting agent.
Patrick is Carol's assistant.

Carol says to Patrick, "Go get the first person." 
Patrick replies with a, "yes ma'am," and gets the first person.
The actress is a girl with purple hair, a cat t-shirt, and lots of piercings. Carol asks, " What's your name, what part are you auditioning for, and why do you want that part?"
The actress says in Carol's exact voice, "Kat Vendike, The cat, and because I really like cats."
Carol angrily responds, " You can shut that down right now and get your script. "
Kat replies," I have no idea what your talking about," still using Carol's voice. She grabs the script off the table and heads toward the front off the room. She asks, now using her voice, " How do you want the cat portrayed? "
Carol, who is now starting to get annoyed says, "However you think it should be portrayed."
Kat takes a deep breath and says in a low scary voice, " So dog, you come in my house and expect me to not attack you? What are you, crazy?"
Patrick starts clapping, looks over at Carol and stops. "You may  leave, we will get back to you or not I don't really care."
Kat exits and Carol says to Patrick, "Don't you dare clap at the next one and after you go get them get me a caramel mocha frappe from Starbucks." Patrick walks towards the door and Carol yells," HURRY UP YOU SLOTH!" Patrick comes back with a large guy with tattoos all over his arms. Carol says the same, "What's your name, what part are you auditioning for, and why do you want that part?" The guy responds, "Tttt-Tyler PPP-Parks, the kk-kitten, bbb-because I think I'm mmm-most connected to the kk-kitten."
Carol says, " Just come get the script." Tyler grabs the script and heads toward the front of the room. "Aaa-are you gg-gonna say go?" He asks nervously.
Carol Sarcastically says,"Go!"
The guys says in a slightly higher voice "I may be be small but but I am mighty." Carol puts her hand up, having heard enough.
"That was great, you have a fine chance of getting a callback but for now you may leave." Tyler was stunned but after a few seconds he ran towards the door yelling thank you on his way out. Carol says, " Were the hell is Patrick with my coffee?" Patrick comes in five minutes later Patrick shows up with a very nerdy looking guy and her coffee. Carol uses the same, " What's your name, what part are you auditioning for, and why do you want that part?" The guy says with an unexpectedly deep voice, " I'm Alexander Anderson, I'm auditioning for the role of the dog, and I want the part because I feel I could do well with it."
"Well alright then, Alexander," Carol happily says "let's see what you got, come get the script." Alexander reads the first line of the script and yells I can't work with this garbage and storms out. Carol says sarcastically," I was so hopeful. Go get the next one." Patrick leaves and comes back with a 5 year old girl dressed like she just hopped off her motor cycle. Carol doesn't look up and just says the same, " What's your name, what part are you auditioning for, and why do you want that part?"
The little girl says, " I'm Lucy Ferginson, I'm her for the part of the evil master mind, and I think I fit the character very well." Carol finely looks up and says, " Don't you think your a little young for this?" Lucy bursts out in tears and runs out. "Well than, if the next one storms out I'm done. Patrick goes to get the last person and Carol starts banging her head on the table. When Patrick comes in with a normal looking guy. Carol getting tired of this says, " " What's your name, what part are you auditioning for, and why do you want that part?" The guy starts to say I am in a extremely high pitch squeaky voice and Carol says, " Just tell me the part your auditioning for and get it over with."
He says, still in the high pitch squeaky voice,  "I'm trying out for the mouse." Patrick hands him the script and he yells, "Oh sweet mama I love CHEESE! In the same high squeaky voice. Carol says, " Goodbye, we will definitely get back to you" and as he leaves she says to Patrick, "Why did I take this job?" Then, she chugs the rest of her Starbucks.

Rants, Jokes, Comebacks, And MoreWhere stories live. Discover now