save me | jungkook

03,

Warning: the content ahead may make you gag or perhaps even, throw up. So if you're sensitive, skip the next paragraph after it says her head is above the toilet.

     She sat there, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. "It's okay," she muttered to herself, "nothing's wrong with you. Nothing." Her hands trembled as she raised them up. She walked to the sink and washed her face quickly.

     "You're okay," she took a small glance at her belly.

     Areum looked away and walked out of the bathroom after having composed herself. Some people in the hallway would give her short glances and immediately stare at the red, puffy eyes. The students murmured to each other quietly. She walked through the hallway and into her classroom. She sat down and sighed, placing her head down onto the table.

Areum laid her head down and looked out the window. Pigeons were flying in the sky and a building that was still constructing could be seen.

     Her eyes grew more tired and her eyelids occasionally closed for more than a second. What woke her up was the sound of the school bell ringing. She jumped up, making the male student behind snort in laughter at how silly she looked.

The teacher walked in and began the class.

Sorry, Jungkook.

-

Areum headed towards her house and opened the door. She could hear the screams of her mother and sister. She kept her head down as she walked up to her room and put down her stuff. She opened the curtains and let the sun shine through the glass window. She laid down on her bed and stared at the ceiling with dull eyes.

     Areum sighed and looked to the side, facing the window. She could see her neighbor's house and the people shuffling across the rooms.

     A recognizable face appeared for a second. Areum blinked. Is that? She shook her head and told herself she was just seeing things. A hallucination. She continued to stare at her neighbor's house with a sudden hope that Jungkook would appear again.

     And he did.

     A bright smile lit up on her face and she found herself blushing. She sat up and looked through her window once more. Just as she turned her head, she saw that Jungkook was looking straight at her. She widened her eyes and quickly closed the curtains.

"Areum! Get down here," her mother called.

She rushed downstairs and saw her mother in the kitchen with her sister. They were both chatting loudly about men. Areum rolled her eyes at them. What a typical topic for them, she thought. She sat down on the chair in the kitchen and waited for her mother to notice her presence. But of course, it took minutes before she did.

"Oh! Areum, I didn't see you there for a second," her mother said.

Her mother suddenly became stern. "I heard your grades went down. What did I tell you before? I won't accept the fact that your grades are in the eighties. They need to be in the nineties. I shouldn't ever get a notice that you're slacking off your studies," her mother scolded her harshly. Her sister chewed on a piece of gum and stared at her with that look.

Areum felt dejected and kept silent after saying "sorry." "Well, sorry won't cut it for you. You know I have high expectations and that's what you should give me. I'll be speaking with a tutor to help you. Do you understand?" Her mother said.

Areum nodded her head.

She continued to sit there as her mother began talking to her sister about makeup and clothes. There was a question pondering around her head that she wanted to ask. But maybe it was the best if she didn't ask. Should I? She knew what the answer would be every single time, but she had hope.

"Mom?"

Her mother hummed in response. "Do you...think I'm fat?" She asked, her fingers trembling on her lap. Her mother laughed and said, "what do I tell you every time? Of course, you're fat. You were always fat. From birth to now and probably to the future, too. Look at yourself. You need to lose some weight. Stop eating so much. You're going to look like your fat uncle. Ugly and fat."

"What do you think?" She asked her sister.

"You already know the answer," her sister rolled her eyes. Areum felt tears forming as one rolled down her cheek. Her mother shoved a bowl of food in front of her and Areum stared at it for a moment. She unwillingly grabbed her spoon and she forced herself to stuff her mouth with food. She felt an urge to spit it out, but she chewed it down and digested it.

After finishing a bowl of food, she trudged off back into her room.

Feeling guilty about eating all of the food, she searched online to find a way to get rid of it. She remembered that one of her bullies had said something about bulimia. Throwing up? She shuddered in thought of throwing up. But the moment she looked back at herself, she had to do it. Luckily, she had her own bathroom so no one would easily interrupt her. People rarely walk into her room.

     She stared at the toilet in front of her as she tightened her fists. You have to, she thought. Areum tied her hair back with a hair band and kneeled down on the floor, her face inches above the toilet.

     No matter how much she tried to throw up without her finger, it wouldn't work. She would have to use her finger to strike a gag reflex. Areum pushed her index finger to the back of her throat. She felt herself gagging and she quickly removed her finger.

     Her hands tighten around the toilet seat area as her eyes started to water. After a minute, it was silent in the bathroom and the air in there smelled foul. Areum had dropped onto the ground and brought her legs close to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. She flushed the toilet and got up, washing her hands with water in the sink.

     She washed her face as well afterwards. Areum looked up at the mirror and stared at herself. Dull eyes, fat cheeks, a double-chin, and a flat nose. All I want to be is beautiful. I wish I was as pretty as every other girl in the school, she thought. Everything was imperfect about her.

Or that's what most people think.

~

I have chest pain at the moment and it hurts to breathe in deep breaths. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter and wasn't too disgusted. Lol.

From your author,
Flora Lee