Teenage Dream

Chapter Five

Love Me In The Morning

Anthony’s POV

I woke up calm on June 1st but by 4PM I was losing my mind. Ian apologized to me and I let him in, screwed. Like an idiot, I started writing down my thoughts in a notebook and was too lazy to put it away afterwards. And it just so happened to be the day when Ian decided to show up unexpected at my house. But who the hell else would visit my house during the day? And like a bigger idiot, I didn’t put it away before answering the door. Ian and I made up and it was too late to hide the book once he was in my room. If I did, he would definitely get curious and look in it. So I had to leave it out in the open hoping he wouldn’t look at it while I said I had to take a shower. The only smart thing I had done that day was fake being mad at him. I couldn’t let him know that I missed him and forgave him already. I tried to shower as fast as possible but I kept getting distracted by my racing thoughts. Oh my god. Is he reading it?? It’s empty on the first few pages so if he looks inside he won’t think there is anything in there. Calm down. But it has all my secrets and if he finds out I’m sooo dead! Dammit Anthony you are sooo stupid! My hands clutched my wet hair until it hurt. I had been in the shower for several minutes and I had barely washed my hair.

“Just calm down…” My hands were shaking as I rubbed soap over my skin, unable to take my own advice. Legs, arms, underarms, hands, back, face, feet, ah the floor’s slippery! I’m gonna fucking die in this shower if I don’t chill out. Just calm down and focus. As soon as the water washed away the soap and my hair was clean I turned it off, nearly falling when my wet feet slipped on the tile. “Just get dry. And get the fuck back in there and see what he’s up to…” My fresh clothes stuck to my damp skin as I left the bathroom, forcing myself to look calm as I entered my room. Ian was sitting on my bed playing with my rubix cube, not looking at me as I watched him for a few seconds, trying to read his facial expression. He was calm and distracted, seemingly oblivious to my notebook. I lazily put my clothes in the closet then eyed my mini diary, relieved when it was in the exact same place as I left it and looking untouched. While his eyes were on the cube I slowly grabbed it and did my best to act chill and look like the notebook was no big deal. For the rest of the time Ian would be hanging out in my room that day, I was going to keep a secret eye on the desk drawer I placed it in.

 Keeping up the mean attitude, I sat in my computer chair stiffly, ignoring the fact that Ian was there. I desperately missed him and after realizing that I couldn’t get rid of the crush I had on him from the kiss, I accepted my feelings but it was still hard to control myself. I wanted to sit next to him, look into his ocean-blue eyes and get lost in them then finally let myself feel all the amazement I got when I kissed him. I had fallen in love with Ian but there was no way I could let him know that. So instead of doing what I wanted, instead I turned on the computer and looked on the internet like I was interested, hearing the clicking sound of the rubix cube as Ian twisted and turned it. But another sound was heard about a minute later and it grew louder. It was Ian starting to laugh. He chuckled at first then burst out into a fit of giggles, my paranoia shooting through the roof when it turned into uncontrollable, loud laughter. Is he laughing at me?? Did he read it?? His pure joy went on for more seconds than I could take. I spun around to see Ian laying on his side, clutching the small cube and a huge grin on his face and his eyes shut tight, his body shaking and laughter spilling from his open jaw. “What are you laughing about??” I shrieked in hysteria, my voice high-pitched and full of fear.

His laughter stopped and he was looking at me like I was crazy. “…I was just thinking about Spongebob.” He could have been lying or been truthful. “What?” His blue eyes rolled. “I just realized that they can light fires underwater. They’re like in the freakin ocean and they have campfires and shit. And his house got lit on fire in the episode where he had to write an eight-hundred word essay about what not to do at a stoplight. It’s physically impossible to have fire underwater. Calm down, Anthony.” My over-reaction was a dead giveaway if he read my diary. I don’t know how much longer I can be mean to him. Especially when his sparkling eyes look through my body and violate me, and his sweet voice makes me shiver. Having no comeback, I turned back to the computer. MySpace couldn’t keep my attention when Ian appeared by my right side, putting his face into my field of vision. I forced my eyes on the screen and not on him. “Anthony, please stop being mad at me. I’ll do anything to make you think of me better.” The smile he gave me was suspicious. “You can step away from me.” I replied coldly, nervous as fuck on the inside.