Vintage Tree

Chapter 12

Josh and I stayed at my friends Lulu's house for the night. It wasn't necessarily her idea to keep us there but her mother insisted us on staying. I eventually gave in, but the awkwardness between me and my old friend was clear. I couldn't sleep at all that night. The fact that I had let down my grandparents, the fact that I could never hold them again or talk to them again burned me on the inside. Crying would not help me and I knew that but there was no other way for me to express myself at the moment.

Josh was sound asleep in the morning so I headed to the kitchen by myself. Lulu was in there, making coffee. She ignored me, but I needed to talk to her.

"So did you ever pick a major in college?" I asked hopefully. She just looked up at me.

"Nursing." She spat.

"So you stuck with it?" I asked hopefully. She just nodded.

"Why come back?" She asked. I just stared at her, unsure of what to say.

"Wasn't your life so great back east? Why come back, why now?" She asked.

"My life wasn't so great back there either." I sniffled. I felt the tears ready to drop any moment.

"But you had money, and that's all you've ever cared about, isn't it?" She spat.

"I'm not a robot."

"Victoria until you realize that money isn't happiness your life is going to be miserable." She said.

"I'm not miserable." I cried.

"You can't lie to me Tori. I've known you for years. That once sparkle of happiness that lit up the whole room is gone. You're smile is fake, it isn't like it used to be. You're not the same girl I once knew. Money changed you."

I stayed quiet and cried. She was right. Money brings pain. I was not the same girl I used to be, but I knew that I could never be the same girl I used to be. My grandparents were gone...nothing was ever going to be the same anymore. This place did not feel like home anymore, it felt like a strangers home. As a young girl I slept over at this house a few nights a month, it would be filled with giggles and laughs. This house in which I stood was once a sanctuary for me but now it was a cold place. It was gloomy and full of pain.

"Were my grandparents disappointed with me?" I cried. Suddenly I felt arms embrace me, but it wasn't Josh. It was my friend, Lulu. The warm and kindness from the hug was indescribable. It took me back years, and for a split second in her arms I felt a warmness known as a type of love you only get from friends. I held onto her for dear life as if an evil force was going to grab me and yank me away from her.

"Why are you here?" She whispered. I then told her everything that had happened in the last few years. She listened, as she always did. She didn't judge me or give me advice, she just listened. It was one of her special talents, a reason why we were such great friends.

We spent the next few days with Lulu. I also talked with my other friend Veronica, but the conversation soon went cold. It was hard to make up lost time, specially when I was grieving on the inside. Josh surprisingly helped me greatly. He tried his best to make me laugh. It was the little things he did that I take into consideration today. One day he gave me a rose he picked from my grandma's garden. It was not a symbol of love. The rose was more symbolic. It symbolized not only Josh's love towards me, but also Josh's personality itself. He was a romantic man, extremely poetic. He hid it all under a stiff face.

Do not get my words twisted, Josh was a cold hearted man. He's suffered a lot in his life. I understand his coldness and his blatant use of words. Yet the most amusing thing about his personality is that, metaphorically, even when he's bleeding, he'd rather treat another person's wounds than his own. He was the only man I ever knew and the only one I truly love up until this day.