my love note ➳ jb + ag

✖ one ✖

ariana pov

a tear slipped out of my eye, i am finally leaving this tour. i talked with justin and scooter and decided that being the starting act for justin's purpose tour is not for me, especially not with my deep secret i hide from everyone.

i sat on the hotel balcony, staring at the sunset below, my hands started braiding my hair nervously, i closed my eyes and took a breath of this californian air. i didn't belong here. being with justin alone made me have goosebumps and seeing him kiss selena makes me want to cry.

i admit it, i love justin. he's been my crush since 2010. and when i won the opportunity to go on tour with justin, i was on top of the world, i was so happy. meeting justin in person was simply heaven, he was everything i wished for: sweet, kind, loveable, sexy... i fell in love with him.

the thing is, i can't tell justin my feelings for him. he's dating selena, who decided to join the tour last minute, and ever since she came she's been a straight up bitch to me. along with her two backup bitches from the backup dancers. i know she knows i have a crush on justin, i always see her looking at me and then making out intensely and passionately, moaning on purpose and always sending me a smirk...

i opened my eyes and stared at the suitcase beside me, it was packed and in 7 hours i would be leaving to florida, my real home. where i belong... i can't live here with the constant fact that i love justin, but he could care less about me. he never seemed to really talk to me, i blame selena.

i took out my phone and entered the twitter app, i opened a new tweet and started typing quickly; "i enjoyed the purpose tour while it lasted, i'm sorry for leaving... i don't feel the tour life :( sorry @justinbieber". i sighed and clicked on the send button, another tear fell out of my eye and i heard footsteps behind me.

"ariana..." i heard the husky voice of justin behind me, i closed my eyes and took a deep breath, i wiped the tears out of my eyes and looked at justin, luckily i was wearing waterproof mascara, i learnt to use it since my first day of tour when selena decided to be a bitch to me. it was exactly 3 months ago.

"yes?" i answered dryly. i looked into justin's deep brown eyes, they always make me feel hopeless in love, and his plump lips... i couldn't explain how much i wanted them on mine, i couldn't bear this tour. this constant feeling of lust. the constant knowledge that i'll never have justin, not even one drunk night...

"so... you didn't change your mind?" justin said and put his hands in his sweatpants, i shrugged and looked at my feet, why would i change my mind really? because queen bitch selena made me feel even worse when i announced leaving for real and her fake sadness, that after everybody left she made me feel awful with her happiness? nuh uh.

"ariana, we'll all miss you here on tour. and the fans too..." justin admitted, his eyes looking down at his feet and then catching my eyes, "my nana- she misses me a lot. i really care about my nana, and she really wants me to come home" i lied, well, it was a half truth... my nana did want me home but she never said it. but it was obvious that all my family missed me, not just my nana.

"i understand... but it will be tough without you ariana" justin said, "not just for me, for all of us" he said. i didn't know if he knew, which i doubt he did, but him putting everyone in it makes me feel worse. why can't he just say "i'll miss you" and "it will be tough on me"?? is it selena and her bitch squad? is it me for being so awkward and antisocial? i really don't understand.