Broken

Chapter One: Son of White Fang

Kakashi Hatake was a broken man. Very few people realized the truth. He smiled when he was supposed to, he laughed at the right times like he should, he acted like a normal person. But, those who knew him best saw the spark missing from his soul. When he went to his lonesome home, the real mask came off.

He would sit in meditation for hours trying to find purpose in his existence. He just felt so numb and isolated all the time. All of the precious people he had ever cared for were dead. Some of the deaths were accidental or just fate. Some were caused by him either directly or indirectly. His mother, father, sensei, and team mates were all gone, leaving only him to wander through life wondering why he was chosen to outlive them.

He was already an elite jonin; an Anbu captain. Here he found himself at only seventeen years old and questioning why he should go on. He would never consider suicide as a means out because of his father, but he thought all the time about "losing" a battle during one of his missions. "Next one," he told himself that night as he went to bed. "Maybe if I am lucky, I will die on my next mission."

He knew without a doubt that he was a danger to everyone around him. His duties as an Anbu were the only thing keeping him together. Killing others made the pain go away for awhile. It was only a matter of time when that would be gone as well. He was starting to mess up. He had trouble sleeping and keeping his mind focused. He could barely relate to anyone anymore. He drank hard when he was off duty. He drifted off to sleep with thoughts of being in peril for some unknown reason. A common occurrence for him.

Several hours later, he found himself awake much earlier than he intended to be, staring at the ceiling. He just had yet another nightmare. This one was about not being able to prevent his father from killing himself. He kept seeing the tantō slide into his stomach and the blood pooling around his body. He had loved his father dearly. He was everything he wanted to be. When he was gone, Kakashi's world was torn apart.

Although it was only two in the morning, he got up and dressed in the dark. The four walls of his tiny apartment seemed to close in on him, making him feel suffocated. He needed to get out. Throwing on his sandals, he jumped out the window and began to aimlessly wander around Konohagakure as silent as a cat. The clouds hiding the moon made the night as black as his mood.

The tranquil serenity of the slumbering village was broken by the crisp sound of the autumn leaves dancing along the cobblestone paths in the light breeze. He desperately wished he could find peace in the solitude, but could not, no matter how hard he tried.

His former team mate, Obito appeared next to him. "Why did you have to kill her, Kakashi? I loved Rin. You should have protected her with your life. You failed me, Kakashi," said the ghostly voice in his head. "Just like you failed everyone else."

"I'm sorry, Obito. I'm sorry Rin," he murmured softly to himself. "It should have been me."

He continued his stroll towards the memorial stone when the sound of a tiny whimpers broke his dark thoughts. Wondering what could be making that noise, he followed it to a row of hedges. Carefully pulling back the bare branches, he spotted the source of the moans.

What he had discovered surprised him immensely. A small child lie curled up on the ground asleep. He was shivering so hard that Kakashi knew he had to do something immediately. He bent over, pulled the branches wider, and tried to pick up the small form.

The kid, sensing the ninja, instantly awoke and back peddled away with a little frightened cry. A brilliant moonbeam broke through the clouds, shining down on them and bringing the child's features into stark relief. Kakashi noted the blond hair and whisker markings on the boy's panicked face. Three years had passed since he had seen a face like this one; the face of his beloved sensei and Forth Hokage, Minato Namikaze. A pang of deep sadness hit him hard.

The look of stark terror in the boy's eyes pulled him away from his own depressing thoughts. Kakashi tried to reassure the boy. In a low comforting tone, he said, "Shh, it is okay. I won't hurt you, Naruto. I want to help you." He put his hand out to the boy and tried to get him to come out.

Naruto let out a small whimper and curled into a tight ball, covering his ears with his hands and tucking his elbows to his sides. It was a pose of someone who knew how to defend himself from major injury to the eyes, ears and vital organs; a pose of someone who had been beaten too many times.

It struck Kakashi hard. This was the legacy of the Yondaime, the hero of Konoha. What was he doing outside on such a cold night sleeping in a bush? He stayed close to the child, speaking to him in a low soothing voice for a long time, until Naruto would finally allow himself to be extracted. Kakashi drew him into his arms and bore him away.

As they passed under the street lamps, Kakashi couldn't help but note the sallow skin and pinched malnourished features. He weighed next to nothing in his arms. He was also way too small to be three years old. He looked like he hadn't bathed in a very long time and there were several bald patches on his head.

The terrible odor coming from Naruto made his eyes water, but he said nothing as he carried to boy to the orphanage. He tried to get Naruto to talk, but he would not respond. His eyes had such a dead look in them. Kakashi knew that look well; he saw it in the mirror every day.

That look changed completely as the approached the doors of the orphanage. Naruto began to struggle and cry as they got nearer. He shook his head and shivered. Kakashi held him firmly, rubbed his back, than beat on the door until someone answered.

A middle aged woman wearing an expensive silky robe and rubbing her eyes opened the door. "Who is it? What do you want at this time of night?" she asked grumpily.

Kakashi turned his body so that the boy was visible to her. "I think you might have misplaced someone," he said to her. "It is a little late for him to be outside."

The woman's eyes narrowed as she noticed the tiny boy. With a look of barely contained disgust, she snapped, "Just put him down. He is always wandering away." Kakashi put the trembling boy down in regret and cringed when the woman grabbed his little arm and dragged him into the building. "I'll take care of him from here." She snarled then slammed the door on his surprised face.

Kakashi stood there in shock for a moment then jerked when he heard the sound of a smack and the pained cry of the boy. He shunshined into the building to find the woman with her fist hovering over the cowering child. He seized her hand and threw her across the room. "How dare you? He is just a baby,' he roared. Snatching Naruto up, he stormed away from the orphanage in a fit of rage.

Naruto looked at his furious face and began to sob in fright. Kakashi stopped and breathed deep to calm himself. He smiled through his mask, crinkling his eye. "I'm sorry, little one. I didn't mean to scare you." He hugged the sobbing boy tight to his chest, caressed his head, and said, "Don't worry, the worst is over now. I will never let anyone hurt you ever again, Naruto. I will protect you with everything I am. I promise you."

The boy stared at him with mistrust before sticking his thumb in his mouth. His eyes became heavier and heavier as he fought to stay awake. Kakashi said quietly to Naruto, "Maybe now we both can breathe again, pup."

The boy fell fast asleep in the copy-nin's arms as he walked back to his apartment. The previous dark thoughts of his fallen comrades were held at bay for the first time in a very long time. Kakashi's mind was filled instead of images of the blond haired, blue-eyed chibi he vowed to protect. "This time I will not fail. I cannot fail."

He tried to set the slumbering child down, but he clung harder. Kakashi was able to lie down on the bed with the child on his chest. He fell into a dreamless sleep, waking four times to calm the howling child. Yes, he knew all about nightmares.