The Long Way Home

January, 2011

   "Mom, don't you understand! These won't help you get away from the past!" Ryan threw down the empty pill bottles.
   "I know that sweetie, but it isn't your fault that these things have happened, i just want what's best for you." Ryan's mom sighed.
   "This is not helping me mom. I'm so worried about you." Ryan frowned and pulled his mom in close, "but I have to go now."
  Ryan was 5'11" and he had a short hair cut, like the vessel era hair style of Tyler Joseph.
   Ryan Hawkins stepped off the front step of the apartment he grew up in, in Denver, Colorado. He was only 16 and he didn't know what to do. He got in his midnight black Honda Civic and drove off, down to the usual spot.
   The parking deck was full of street kids; a term for the teenagers who lived on the streets most of their day's. Ryan  was walking across the floor to meet up with his best friend, Parker Daniel. There was a full concert stage and  on it was State Champs, playing Elevated. After ten minutes or so Ryan was finally able to meet up with Parker.
   Parker Daniel was a runaway and he was one of Ryan's closest friends growing up together in Santa Monica. Parker was 6'1" and very scrawny, with jet black scene hair.
   "It's good to see you man!" Parker smiled and pulled Ryan in for a tight hug.
   "Yeah man, same to you." Ryan sighed and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it up and began to smoke.
   "Are you okay, you only smoke when you're upset.." Parker frowned, worried about him.
   "My mom isn't doing well man. She's taking those pills again." Ryan sighed, and exhaled smoke.
   "Oh man, fuck i'm sorry to hear that." Parker responded and then looked to the stage, State Champs were now playing Eyes Closed. "Come on, let's go have a good time." Parker smiled and ran into the  mosh pit.
   Ryan didn't follow but he instead got back into his Civic and decided to drive back home.
   ----
   Ryan arrived back at 417 Ocala Drive and climbed the same six sad lonely steps back to his apartment. He was in another state of mind when he opened the door to a trashed floor full of old entertainment weekly's and empty pill bottles. Once Ryan settled back in, he went to open his mom's bedroom door and when he did, he caught the first gaze of her deceased body. Ryan collapsed to the floor over her and began to weep uncontrollably.
   "MOM! Wake Up!" Ryan began to shake her, thinking she was just asleep but he was too late. Ryan cried loudly, choking from the tears as they streamed down, he picked up the phone and dialed 911.

   The operator answered, "hello?"
"Help! I need help! My Mom! She's d-" Ryan didn't have the guts to even say what he had to say.
  "Sir?" The operator called to Ryan's attention as his world stopped spinning.
  "She's dead..417 Ocala Drive." Ryan cried, hung up the phone and clinched on to all he had left here, his mom.
  -----
   The doctor's rushed in the apartment and gathered around his mom as they put her on the stretcher. Ryan kept crying as he followed his  mom, "I could have been here. I could have saved her from the pills," he kept thinking to himself.  Finally he was out of the apartment complex as he watched his mom's body get carried in the back of the ambulance.
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February 2011
   The rain fell onto Ryan's mom's casket as the pastor spoke over her dead body. Not many people showed because not many people were left. Ryan wanted to scream, the agony that he felt inside made him feel as if he was about to explode. He missed his mom and that was common. Parker came up and stood next to Ryan and spoke,
   "I'm so sorry for your loss. She was a hero." He patted Ryan's back.
   Ryan had nothing left to say, he just wanted to know why his mom popped pills until they killed her. He began to cry again so he walked off to his civic and climbed in. Where would he go, What would he do now.