Polyamorous Relationship

1. MY FIRST LOVE

I FELL FOR HIM INSTANTLY. Charlie Coburn was the life and soul of the party. People trailed behind him just to have a chance to utter a single word to him before they where shoved out the way by another who was desperate to be seen. He always spoke to them. It didn't matter if he was running late or if he had a bad day, Charlie Coburn would stop everything just to smile and talk to a stranger like they were old friends.

Charlie was beautiful too. He had this blonde hair that looked like molten gold and ran down in waves to his shoulders and not to mention his blue eyes that changed shades depending on his mood. I always liked his eyes. They were so tranquil and looking into them was like taking the first drink from an oasis after being stuck in a hot desert for days. He had dimples as well, every time he smiled I wanted to punch someone because he was just to darn cute for this world.

We met in our second year of university. He was surrounded by people as usual and I was trying my hardest not to walk into someone as my eyes drank in his smile and the way his body hunched as he began to laugh. It was strange how perfect he was.

In my daze I forgot that the top step to the university building was larger than the others. When my foot caught against it, I shrieked and fell onto the hard concrete with a thud. I had always been a clumsy mess from day one, to the point my mother forced me to use plastic plates and glasses just incase I dropped something. I remember how my insides twisted with embarrassment at the sound of shocked giggles around me. I was sure my face had turned the same shade of red as a fire truck as I started to pick up my fallen folders.

When another set of hands joined my mission by picking up my pens that had came free from the broken pencil case I made a joke about me being a complete ditz and how I should know better than to ogle as I walk. I earned a laugh and I recognised it immediately. My head shot up and another wave of heat tore across my face at the sight of Charlie smiling at me.

It took me a long time to believe that he, Charlie Coburn, had been smiling at me. I, Tommy Kim, had received a smile from Charlie Coburn. I felt like my teenage sister when she read about her favourite couples from books or tv shows. I had to hold back every urge to squeal and punch him in the face for showing off his deep dimples.

Now, as I look back at my nineteen year old self, I wanted to wrap my arms around them and thank them for being such a clumsy fool. Charlie had began noticing me as I walked past. Before my embarrassing accident, he'd nod if he caught my eye. After the accident, he began calling over to me. 'Watch your step!' Or 'Careful going down that slope'.

The first time he actually began talking to me, I nearly died. He found me in the library and sat down across from me with the biggest grin on his face and with out being prompted or asked, he told me everything that had happened to him that day. I listened in silence, my heart beating so fast and so hard I could see my chest moving whenever I forgot to breath. He didn't seem to mind my silence, in fact he seemed to be used to talking to silent people with how skilfully he picked up on what questions I wasn't going to answer and moved the topic on.

Charlie was extremely open with me. He told me that he was bisexual and that he was currently questioning his gender identity. He told me how he used to harm himself because of the negativity in his household as a teenager and how he had been pulled out of the shit hole by someone from high school. He told me nearly everything. I say nearly because, to this day I still have no idea who the guy in all of his photos are or who he goes to visit every weekend with out fail.

I didn't ask. If he hadn't told me himself then he obviously wasn't keen on telling me. I didn't mind, I had my secrets as well. I had wondered if the guy in the photos was the one that helped Charlie during high school by taking him in. It didn't seem right in my mind though, the guy looked the same age as us.

After two years of knowing each other, the man in the pictures got put to the back of my mind and I barely noticed the new pictures Charlie put up. If my eyes did travel to the mint green walls of his dorm room, they stuck to the pictures of me and him.

My crush has changed into full blown love for Charlie. It's hard to believe that I've spent three year pinning after this boy and have gotten no where. I tried to tell him once but he mistook my 'I like you' as a friendly confession and had replied with the same thing. As irritating as that was, I was happy to by his side. I liked how he came to me and told me things that happened that day. I don't know what I would do if I lost that.

So I kept my mouth shut.