My Miku (Megurine x Miku Oneshots)

Muse

I don't know what to call myself, am I a stalker? A secret admirer? Or just a creepy person? Every time I see her, I couldn't help but stare at her and I feel like I'm floating, forgetting the existence of gravity. Plans that I had formed the night before, keeps getting dismissed and aborted. Words that I had even repeatedly saying to myself in front of the mirror every morning, continuously dies in my throat. The courage I had in myself, like always, only dissolves, not letting me do anything.

When I tried to approach her, my body can't seem to function and it feels like my every muscle was frozen. It sounds crazy but when I tried to talk my friend about it, using ifs so it won't be perceptible. She told me that there wasn't anything wrong with me; I was just attracted to that person. Like normal people, I dream and have fantasies about me and her being together. Holding hands, sharing hugs and kissing each other, it makes me feel happy and my heart flutter. Though I know myself that it will never happen, because we don't have any similarities in personalities or in a game you could say, a level.

She was ninety three while I'm only thirty five. Rising popularity, ace in terms of athletics and academics and a beautiful face, juniors like me adores her. She have everything, no one dare despise her. She was also the president of the student council that made most boys and girls call her the school princess, but for me she isn't just like that. She was more, she was a queen.

All in while, I was nothing more than an average first year student. I can't reach her level; I'm not the only one striving to be with her. There are other people working hard to get her, and I don't think I can compete with them. I'm weak, physically and emotionally, there's no way I'll win.I hate losing and it came to the result that I just watch her from afar.

Awkward is one of my main traits, I can't hold a conversation with someone. I always creep them out with the weird things I say, I can't help it. I don't know what to do, I can't change, and it's just the way I am. People call me childish for still wearing pigtails as a hairstyle. With a hair long passing my knees, it made them tease me more, asking me if I know anything or have seen a scissor. But I don't care about what they say; I can do anything I want. And Gumi advised me to just ignore them because all those people only wanted attention. Gumi was my first friend when I stepped into high school, and also one of my wayso I can watch the person I admire. Gumi was in the same volleyball team as her, and I used the opportunity I had to see her. Saying to Gumi that I just want to watch will make her think things and asked me many questions. I started acting like a helper to my friend and the whole team, giving them water, towel or anything they need while playing. One of her teammates had already asked why I was always there. She just told them to let it be because I had some use anyway. I never expected myself to stoop so low. But it's okay; I can't take it.All of it, just so I can watch her.

Day by day that she had practice, I'm with Gumi. The whole team didn't pay attention to me unless they need something. While she, never need anything or asked me to do anything. I don't know if it's just my imagination, but sometimes I can catch her gazing at me and she will instantly avoid meeting my eyes. A thought passed through my mind that she doesn't like me.

Sitting on the corner with my sketchbook and drawing pencil, I glance at her every time no one was looking and started lining. I've been doing the same thing for months, believe it or not, but I already finished a sketchbook full of her. It's not just sketching; I too, paint in my room. Not only of her while playing, and there were some while she was laughing, acting and smiling.

All these things were done discreetly. I don't want anyone to know that I draw, that's why I had a book covered beneath the sketchbook I used. I don't want anyone to know that I am an amateur artist, and Luka Megurine is my muse.

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She's beautiful, just beautiful. The way she hops, step and hit, it's all so perfect. All the mistakes she make feel so right, I can't find any flaws in her.Those eyes, and it drew me in. Even if her gaze isn't directed to me, I can still feel myself drowning into it. Her hair is beautiful, moving and flipping every time she run and jump. Pink, it remind of the cherry blossoms. The beautiful sight as the leaves endlessly fall was like watching her. Sometimes, I dream of smelling her hair. Me sitting on her lap staring to her eyes while she stare at me back. Hair falling on my face and I take the chance to sniff it. Her hand caressing my ear as she smile at me. Slowly leaning in to meet my lips, strawberry chopstick I can taste. So soft and so warm, that's how I've always imagine it.