For the Insecurity (MakoHaru AU)

Chapter 4- 9.8.16

Where's Makoto? Class already started... Haru's thoughts were interrupted by a vibrate in his pocket. Picking up his phone, he noticed a message from Nagisa.

'Go get 'em! Be sure to leave a good note about me and Rei to Makoto!!'

Haru nodded and flipped his phone off. He could no longer smile at Nagisa's childish texts. Not after what his mother said about them.

Thirty minutes into class, the brunette strolled into class. Everybody greeted him, quite loudly, interrupting the day's lesson. Of course, Makoto just ignored them all and walked to the end of the classroom.

It didn't take an expert to show that Makoto didn't want to be at school.

Haru's heart skipped a beat as he saw Makoto take his seat, which was next to his. Haru cocked his head and waved at Makoto.

Makoto took a look at Haru, who gave the brunette a warm smile. Realizing that he was blushing, Makoto quickly whipped his head to the other direction.

Haru laughed a bit. Taking a pencil, he used it to poke the brunette's shoulder. Makoto turned around, a hand covering most of his face. Haru continued to laugh quietly at Makoto's awkward personality, despite the way he treated everybody else.

Haru lifted Makoto's flannel, from yesterday, and tossed it too him. Haru watched as Makoto caught it and stared at the flannel for a few minutes.

Finally, Makoto shoved the jacket down his backpack and mouthed 'It smells like you- crap'.

'That was mean,'

'It's not mean if it's the truth.' Makoto replied, shaking his head.

Haru rolled his eyes and sighed. 'You're blushing.'

Haru continued to laugh silently as Makoto turned into a deeper shade of red realizing what Haru had mouthed to him. Makoto looked around the room, grateful that nobody could see him flustered. Quickly taking out a textbook, Makoto used it to cover his face.

Haru couldn't contain his smile. He loved Makoto's quirky personality. He wanted to be the brunette's friend more than anything.

I wonder if he's showed that side of him to anybody else besides me?

--

"Y-You're joking, right?" Nagisa laughed, as he, Haru, Rei and a much of other people, sat at their lunch table.

"I wish I had pictures to show you," Haru remarked.

"Never have I ever seen Makoto blush before!" Nagisa exclaimed, pushing his chair and standing up. "Not to mention the way he treated you."

"I agree with Nagisa," Rei added. "He treats his friends like crap, and Iwatobi High worse. And yet, a transfer student, who has only known him for two days, can make him act like that?"

Haru shrugged. "I'm just happy he accepts me."

"I don't know about that..." Nagisa disagreed. "We're not sure. You're the only person who can make Makoto feel that way. We don't know if it's a good or bad thing."

"We've known Makoto for what? Ever since high school?" Rei recalled. "Like a year?"

Nagisa shrugged. "Rumor has it that Makoto wasn't like this until high school came. Blame it all on puberty."

"Maybe he's just putting up a front because he's insecure about who he truly is? Maybe something happened that caused a change in his personality?" Haru inferred.

"Thats... That's not a bad guess," Rei approved. "How did you come up such an elaborate guess?"

"Well-" A flashback of Haru's mom's calm, threatening smile came across Haru's mind. "I-I don't know."

"Haru, is something wrong?"

"Nah.." Haru tried to put on a smile. Yet, no matter how hard he pried, he couldn't bring himself to smile. Not even a fake one.

Nagisa and Rei nodded nervously at Haru's sudden change of mood. Truth was, Haru's blank stare was pretty normal. That was how he treated anyone he was insecure about.

Of course, Nagisa, Rei and Makoto were an exception. Haru liked them. They made the dark-haired boy feel comfortable.

"Well," Nagisa interrupted, breaking the silence. "Well, um... how was your day?"

"Good, how was yours?" Haru responded, just as bland.

"Good, thanks." Nagisa sat down and began thinking of another good conversation starter.

"Haruka, I have a question," Rei spoke up despite the awkward atmosphere. "By any chance do you like Makoto? Like we know you want to be his friend and all, but do you love him?"

"L-Love?" That word shocked Haru. The dark-haired boy had never gotten close enough to anybody to actually fall for them. And to the one person he did, back in his old school, something tore the two apart. "I don't know."

"You don't have to tell us," Nagisa shrugged. "Actually, I'm kidding. Yes you do."

Haru chuckled slightly. "I've only known him for only a couple of days..."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay for Makoto," Rei added. "Like I said, the whole school is crazy for Makoto Tachibana."

"I bet if he asked for a holiday in his name the administrators would agree," Nagisa winked. 

"And besides, we totally accept you for whoever you are. Nagisa, for example, is pansexual."

"I like pans!" Nagisa exclaimed, wailing his arms around.

"It means he's attracted to personality, not what's in your pants," Rei explained, as Haru continued to laugh at Nagisa's outburst. "I'm a....well, I don't know yet."

"Rei doesn't know his gender, so he identifies as a question mark," Nagisa pitched in. "I'm jealous of Rei- I wish I could explore my gender too!"

"That reminds me, Haruka, which gender are you?"

"Are you gay?" Nagisa exclaimed. "You and Makoto would make a good couple!"

Haru blushed at the mention of him and Makoto getting together. "L-Like I said, I don't know..."

"It's okay, we're not pressuring you to tell us," Rei comforted. "Give it some time, 'kay?"

"Mm," Haru agreed.

Makoto is the only person that makes me happy, Haru thought to himself as he walked to his next class. I mean, Nagisa and Rei keep the happy atmosphere, but without Makoto, I wouldn't be able to smile. Does that mean I like him?

I get these weird feelings when I'm around him. He's the only person that makes me blush. Does that mean anything? Or am I just one of the many that go 'crazy' for him?  What if he just has that 'charm' that attracts everybody? Then that doesn't mean I love him, right? I'm just an admirer...

Disappointed, Haru sighed. He really wished that Makoto and him had a special connection. But Makoto was a popular person, while Haru was just one of the many people that worshiped him.