I Prefer The Drummer (Book 2 // Joshler)

Part Thirteen

"If you don't wake up and get in, everything will be closed by the time we leave our hotel room."

Josh  nodded and turned around to remove the remainder of his clothes, still hiding his wrist from Tyler. When he was done, he hopped in the shower and shuffled his way against the wall, his back to Tyler. He waited until his boyfriend was done shampooing to make his way under the water, his wrist behind his back.

"Josh, what are you doing?"

"I'm washing my hair, silly."

"Okay, but why is your hand behind your back?"

"No reason, no reason at all."

"Josh! You've been acting super weird ever since you walked into this bathroom. What's going on?"

"Nothing, Ty, just relax."

Tyler doesn't buy it, instead, he grabs Josh's wrist from behind his back and pulls it out towards him. Josh winces and tries to pull it back but Tyler is stronger and before Josh can do anything, Tyler has a hold of Josh's forearm and his hand. Slowly but gently, he turns Josh's hand so his palm is facing up, giving Tyler a perfect view of Josh's severed wrist.

"Josh-"

Tyler's voice breaks and he cuts himself off in mid-sentence. He takes a deep breath and tries again, his voice breaking through sobs.

"When did- when did y-you do this?"

"Tyler, can we maybe talk about this when were both not naked in the shower?"

Tyler nods and leaves rapidly, hiding his face in the towel while he shuts the door. Josh lets out a sigh and finishes his shower quickly. When he's done, he turns the nozzle just a little hotter and simply stands there, thinking. It feels like hours or days for Josh but in reality, it isn't more than two minutes before he's shutting the water and loosely tying the towel around his waist, his hip bones barely holding it up. He doesn't bother to dry off his torso or hair, he just goes straight for the door. That's when he sees it, his boyfriend sitting on the edge of their bed, both hands covering his eyes. Tyler is wearing his black skinny jeans but didn't bother to put on a shirt. Josh slowly walks and sits beside him, wrapping his arm around Tyler.

"Tyler...I didn't want you to find out."

Tyler can't speak, sobs are choking him and all he feels is darkness pool around in his mind. So, without a word, he keeps crying in the palm of his hands, drops of water accumulating. 

"Last week, like when you confronted me about Debby. I didn't know it at the time so when I found out, I panicked and I hated myself and I just needed to feel pain. I needed to make myself bleed. I don't know, you weren't there and I had hurt you so much, I just, I deserved it."

Tyler removed his hands from over his eyes and threw himself around Josh's neck. His head resting on his shoulder and he quickly moved his legs so he was now sitting in Josh's lap.

"After everything I've been through, after everything I've said. The music we create, what we tell kids all over the world, don't forget it. Josh, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler and held him back tightly. 

"Don't you dare put this on yourself. It was my choice."

"Promise me it'll never happen again..?"

"I promise."

After a chorus of I love yous and many well-deserved kisses, the two boys broke apart and got dressed. After all, they still had an entire city to explore. That and also the fact that Josh knew if he didn't take Tyler out, he'd never hear the end of his whining. 

Splashy woke up from his nap and stretched before going to find Josh and Tyler, meowing. Josh chuckled and fed him while petting his little fluffy head. He loved nothing more than to keep his little kitten happy, both Splashy and Tyler.

"You ready, now?"

"Bring on the CITY!!"

"Tyler, calm down, it's not like we haven't been here before."

"Um, some of us don't really remember being here so, hush."

Shit. Josh had completely thrown aside the possibility that Tyler's memory isn't exactly back. He keeps forgetting that not everything they did together is edged in his brain like it is in Josh's. Before planting a soft kiss on Tyler's pink lips, Josh quickly apologized and promised Tyler some ice cream and that they'd visit everything he wanted to see.

That perked Tyler right up and both boys were on their way out. Josh grabbed Tyler's hand, entangling their fingers together as they walk. They haven't felt this good in a long time. It's precious, and the smile that rests on Tyler's soft face along with his cute little laugh is all Josh needs to know that it's going to get better. That's all Josh needed, the little reassurance that they will always be alright. As long as they have each other, they can get through anything.

***

"Do you want chocolate or vanilla ice cream?

"Can I get both? Like when they swirl it together?"

Josh smiles and asks the lady who happily nods behind the counter. Tyler nearly jumps up when she hands him his ice cream and Josh chuckles as he pays her. 

"You have ice cream on your nose."

"Do you have any napkins?"

"No, but I've got something better."

Josh leans in and licks the ice cream off of Tyler's nose then plants a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. They were just two happy boys.