Leaning Into BDSM

Chapter 7

OMG wow. I never thought I would ever have so much feedback like I have. This past year has been such an experience for me. I have also changed so much. I never saw myself to be one who would chat away to other people in this lifestyle or even think about trying out any experimentation. But, I have and I'm glad.

My thrilling desire to pour hot wax or the feel of a leather belt clashing against my back has really opened my eyes. I've learnt that I may not be the most submissive slave. But, I have learned that I am also a switch. A switch is somebody who enjoys both roles. Its strange really. SO strange. I look back at this site. Where I started all my BDSM fiction novels and detailing my most secret fantasies and now I cant bare to live life day in day out without some kinky fella in my life.

I've been extremely close to experiencing the true satisfaction many people in the BDSM lifestyle feel. But I have been left with nothing but heart ache and no use to my black stockings. I don't regret my love to this lifestyle but I wish I met someone who can at least direct me to a caring master who will treat my like a little princess in the day, and a slut by night.

I joined a website Fetlife months ago. It's okay, but not amazing. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone under the age of 18 at least anyway because you are restricted to a lot of things. I know now that I really need to step back and let the dominant come to me. I'm in several relationship on a go, 24/7. Constantly texting and sexting guys and my life is a misery because they are from afar. I feel like im totally desperate but I'm not.

I could go on for hours telling you about how I feel and the difficulty I am having. I tried talking to other experienced subs online, and I was lucky enough to be introduced to some other people who run munches in my area. (a munch is a gathering of BDSM and fetish extremists that get together every now and then at a restaurant or pub in the area and they talk. There are rules if you join too.) I've never been to one, but I would like to attend one soon. I think for now and I advice this to any one else who is under the age of 18 and are still really seeking experience and education to this lifestyle, is for them to make friends with others and talk about, and meet just so you don't feel so alone or trapped about this topic that is always going to sit in your brain.

The best way to look and bondage and BDSM, is that you have a far more interesting idea of how you enjoy sex. That is all it is about. Its just a very private liking that you have. You should never class yourself as weird, or fucked up. Your individual, unique, extraordinary and above all NOT BORING! SO I hope anyone else who is finding it difficult to cope, understands that I'm here, a lot of others on this site are here, and so don't rush into looking for a master, or dom etc. Enjoy learning. Thank you for reading x