The Girl

Chapter 2

[NOT EDITED]

I... I sometimes wonder if this is enough. Just seeing you around more... Hurts. Ever since the day we met, it feels like I could finally find hope and something... Something called love. Love at first sight. I never believed in it until I met you. But now I've seen you more and I try so hard to talk, you turn away and carry on as if I wasn't there in the first place.

Pangs of pain in my heart... It's unbearable. I don't know about you as much as I'd like to but, at least give me one chance. One chance is all that I need. I just want to talk to you again. To see you. To know everything is ok. And I feel like I've known you forever.

Its been about a month. A month since we talked. The worst month of my life. I don't know why. I've cried for you. Feeling pathetic because I know I can't have you, because I know you don't care. It hurts so much.

This bundle of sadness in me. It hurts terribly. Not only do I feel sadness but anger. Anger because  of what you made me feel inside. You decided to win my heart then completely ignore me. Its like getting hit with a storm and your all alone. It sounds weird, I know.

And now I lay here crying, once again because I'm so fucking pathetic. I'll try my hardest to see you once again and hopefully talk to you. But we both know that won't happen. I'm just another person that everyone meets and then is completely forgotten in the shadows.

Sighing I got off my bed, wiping the remaining tears away. How... How can this happen. I should already know I'm going to be forever alone. Its so stupid of me to put myself into this situation.

I shook my head. I need to get these thought out of my head. Its not 'healthy'. Of course its not. Its what everyone says. Yet they're the ones that put them in here on the first place. I walked to the sink in the bathroom. I look pathetic. My reflection. Tear stains, puffy red eyes... I'm a complete mess. I'm a fool.

I brung my fist up and took a blow towards the mirror. I can't look at that hideous monster I've become. I looked down at the now cut hand. Blood started seeping out and gathering up, then slowly hitting the ground.

I turned the knob of the sink. Water cascaded down peacefully. I hissed as I ran my hand under the water. It hurts so much. Cupping my hand to capture water I closed my eyes. I splashed the water on my face. I reached to grab a hand towel, and wiped my face. I'm a monster. I will always be.

I plopped down on my bed. Completely useless. I'm trash. No one... No one fucking cares! I buried my face into the pillow. And so what?! I have to deal with it!

I'm absolutely done. I can't...

~

Its three in the morning and I guess... This is better than crying.

Umm.. Yeah...

-Dobe10