What is love? [laurmau ff] ✔️

His Choice[7]

=Laurance=
(Yes I'm doing povs now :) I'll only go to aph's if I need to.)

"Hey are you okay?"

She has her hands rested in her elbows and her hair was covering the side so I couldn't see her.

No answer.

"Aphmau...."

I had a loss of words.

Something was wrong. She's usually facing me and she scoots her desk over just a little bit so we can hear each other.

But this time her desk was at its correct spot, and she was paying attention to the board.

And I know that she learned about that already.

Suddenly she ripped the paper out of her notebook and slowly pushed her desk closer to mine.

Aph: hey :) sorry I just don't feel that well today.

Laur: what happened?

Aph: just a little under the weather, that's all.

Laur: no, that's not it.

Aph: ?

Laur: is this about what happened two days ago with the nurse?

Aph: no.
Aph: okay yes it is, but I just don't know.

Laur: it doesn't matter anymore.

Aph: yes it does! Some guys can't just beat you up for no good reason!

Laur: it wasn't for no good reason.

Aph: then what was it for?

Laur: it's nothing.

Aph: Don't pull that on me.

Laur: I'll tell you after school.
Laur: but in person.

Aph: fine.

The bell rang, and school was over. I crumpled the paper and threw it away.

Aphmau followed behind me.

•••

"Now tell me." She said hugging her books closer.

"They started beating me up for a different reason."

"And that reason is..."

"Okay, so they used to beat me up because they thought I was a nerd. Now they beat me up because....". I trailed off, thinking that if I told her she wouldn't want to be around me anymore.

And as much as I like being alone, I like when Aphmau is in my presence.

"Spit it out Laurance,"

"They beat me up because Aaron likes you and he thinks I'm a threat." It came out softer than I had thought.  I'm not so sure about the part where he thinks I'm a threat.

But considering the way he treats and talks to me, it could be that he does in fact see me as a threat, or anything else for that mater.

Aphmau just stood there, lost in her thoughts, not knowing what to say.

"Th-They're beating you up because of me?" Her eyes looked a bit watery.

And I didn't like that.

"N-no! It's not like that." I said giving reassuring gestures.

"I think it's exactly like that Laurance." She said looking down.

"Aphmau–"

She walked away not letting me finish my sentence.

I shouldn't have told her.

But lying doesn't make anything better either.

What do I do about this?

Why am I so worried?

Why do I feel scared?

Why am I so frustrated?

Why did my hear drop when she walked away?

What even is this?

I backed up against the wall and roughly ran my fingers through my hair in the process.

Since when did this become so difficult?

I took a deep breath and grabbed my bags.

And I walked out like nothing happened.

•••

=Aphmau=

I just left him.

He told me why and I walked away.

I was too distraught.

He gets beaten up because of me.

He didn't deserve this.  He didn't deserve anything that was happening to him.  Laurance deserves to be happy.

I drove home I tears and just laid on my bed.

I shouldn't be the one crying,

But yet I am.

I care about him. I really do. It's hard to believe since I just met him but I do.

And if me interacting with him gets him hurt, then I'm going for the long run here.

My phone buzzed and I looked up.

It was him.

Laur: how come you walked away?

I set my phone down and ignored the notification, paying more attention to my thoughts.

If he's getting beaten up because of me why does he still want to talk to me?

Because it's his choice to.

This is for the better.

Stop being selfish with yourself.

I realized that my self conscious was right.

It was his choice.

And it's also my choice to respond.

So picked my phone back up and did.

Because that's what I'm choosing to Do.