Meet Me at Dawn

Chapter Twenty-One

“I know Reggie wishes us to get on well with one another, but I do not think it possible.” I spoke truthfully to him, for I knew that he was as privy to Reggie’s thoughts as I was. “We are either sparring with words, or only civilly polite. There is nothing easy in our manner toward one another. It is not an altogether comfortable situation.”

Westover nodded in understanding and paused along the path, motioning for me to do the same. “She only wishes you to be happy. I do not think she would care if you decided you did not like him.” I smiled in response, for I could not find words to reply to his. He said nothing more and we continued on our walk to the house. I was eager to hear any news Reggie brought with her. It would be quite pleasing to think about something other than Sutherland, who plagued my thoughts with his kisses and his fleeting behavior.

***

“Oh Reggie! What happy news!” I hugged her tightly where she sat on the settee in her room while her husband looked on with a smile. “Why did you not tell me sooner? I cannot believe I did not take notice myself. I am sorry I have been such a horrible friend to you. I had been too preoccupied with my own troubles.”

“Do not worry yourself, Kit. You are a fine friend, and one that I am so glad to have. I did not want anyone to know until I was sure of it.” She looked to her husband then, giving him a knowing glance as she continued. “Westover would have not allowed me to venture out on my own if he knew my little secret. So you see my dear, I am glad you were not in the know on this, but I am so fortunate now that you know.” She smiled brightly as she took my hand in hers, pulling me to sit beside her.

Westover stayed his position near the door while we rejoiced over his wife’s happy news. I listened to her chatter away about names and preparations necessary at their home. I watched how animated her face became as she spoke the future. I did not have the heart to broach the subject of the earl and his dull-headed behavior. While overjoyed by her news, I was only sorry that I would not be there when the time came for the child to enter this world of balls and soirees. It was impossible for me to tell this to Reggie, however, for it would surely break her heart as it already pained mine to think of it.

At quarter past the hour before we were required to dress for the night, I took my leave from the couple, reassuring Reggie that I would see her that evening. There was to be a ball of sorts, and if my memory proved correct, it would be the very same that had ruined me four years prior. I wandered the halls of the grand estate, slowly finding the way back to my room, located in a different wing of the house from the titled guests. There was excited chatter below stairs as I walked past the main staircase leading up from the foyer. The ladies were abuzz over the arrival of some guest, no doubt a gentleman. After all, this party was meant to make final matches before the complete end of the Season.

I shook my head as I passed, disappointed that I had once been one of those eager unmarried girls waiting to find themselves in the presence of a handsome eligible bachelor. I could not imagine myself to be in that position now, not when I had learned to survive it on my own; not when I knew that my affections had been already claimed by another, consciously done or not. Whatever my feelings were however, nothing would come of them.

When I reached the door to my room, I paused just outside. Though I had been in the presence of these guests for a time now, could I stand to bear their scrutiny of me tonight at the ball? It was much more than the mere formal dinners and parlour gatherings of the past nights. My dresses did not need to be all the rage as would be expected this evening. It would be quite different, singling out the last remaining wallflowers of the Season, subjecting the lesser young ladies to the critical looks of the fashionable sort. Though so much attention would be paid to the female guests at this event, I hoped to remain unobserved and overlooked by the wagging tongues. I was in no need of finding a husband at this party, nor did I particularly want to interact with the same society that shunned me those years ago for a offense I did not commit. I vowed to appear taciturn this evening, lest I earn the unwanted attention of my peers.