The Wife's Diary

The Lamp

February 23, 2014

For more than a year that had passed, we somehow seem to know more of each other's likes and dislikes, hobbies, attitude, personality, personal routines and preferences, in a verbal and mostly in non-verbal way. It's like silently observing and considering each other's presence. I became more used to what we have now...

Until one night...

The lamp is on, dim light as usual. I woke up around 2:00am to see him sitting: his knee flexed with his elbow resting on it. He seems to be thinking something. It made me worried. So I got up and asked him if there is something wrong. He was a little surprise that I woke up...and a little upset. Our conversation goes like this:

Him: Why are you still awake?

Me: I just happen to wake up. I should be the one asking you that.

Him: Did you easily woke up because the lamp is still on?

Me: No... Is there something wrong?

He paused looking into my eyes like he want to say or ask something but he chose to say...

Him: No...Nothing.

And after that, he turned off the lamp. I was going to talk and ask more but he lied down, tucked in his blanket (we have our own blankets) and turned facing the other side. In short, he doesn't want to talk. I was sleepy and tired that I did not insisted.

The next night, he asked me if I'm going to work on something before going to sleep. Which is weird.

Me: No, I'm not. I will be going to take a shower and sleep thereafter... unless you want to talk about something.

I waited for him to start a conversation but he laid down on bed.

And so I took a shower and lied 1 meter away from him, like the usual. The unusual thing is, he turned off the two lamps above the two ends of our head board's bed. Again.

Everything is pitch black.

I asked him why he did so since he prefers dim light during bedtime. He said "I just felt like it."

He just felt like it? While I, is feeling something is really going on. I insisted to know what it is and he won't answer me. And so I turned on the lamp. But he got up, looked at me with a serious face, and then turned the lamp off. After he lied back and snuggled, I turned it on again. He got up, said "hey," and then turned it off. But again, I turned it on.

I was refraining myself from laughing until he got up to a sitting position, run his fingers on his brown hair, and said "Seriously?"

I wasn't able to hold back afterwards. I laughed and laughed, thumping the bed like a kid would do when finding something fun. And then, he did the same. He didn't thumped, but he laughed and then told me to sleep already. No words had been spoken afterwards until I fell asleep. When I woke up early in the morning, when the heavens are still dark, the lamps are already off.