The Wife's Diary

What He is Saying

Hello there!

This is my first time to publish a story of mine here in Wattpad so please don't expect too much as there would be a lot of grammatical errors. (You've been warned)

:P

Enjoy. Chill. And Read ma Loves!

.xoxo.

-aprylle j.
A.k.a. Kiyumi <3

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January 3, 2013

Wedding date: December 8, 2012

I love loving him. I love showing him that he is more than special to me. I love the fact that he is my husband. But, he cannot love me back. It's more like he doesn't want to. Well, it can't be helped. He doesn't love me... the way I do. He said so - right in front of my face the night after the wedding.

The wedding ceremony...yes, I remember. It was the most blissful day of my life. Everyone was happy and I was overly excited. I had waited for years for that day to come. I was painstakingly waiting and wondering years back of who will be the man to stand beside me in front of the pastors giving not merely a promise, but a vow to be my everything, my forever.

That day when I looked into his eyes I wanted to cry while donning the ring and uttering the same vow. I was happy, very happy, joyful in fact that I wasn't able to hold back the tears any longer. But with those tears of joy there was the bitter-sweet pain of reality that his sad, brave eyes were telling me.

Nevertheless the ceremony was a success. Everyone was happy and I was overly excited. Everyone, including me but one.

He actually did not need to say those words. His eyes had already told me so -- "I don't love you".

Even so, I replied "Yes, I know. But in case you don't know...I do love you."

It was funny to think that I come to answer a statement not with a question mark at the end of it but with a period. He wasn't waiting for a response. Obviously. He's telling and stating a fact. To make things worse, it was a statement of rejection, and of all the men I had relationships with, from a man I had ever wanted, prayed for and waited all my life.

The funnier part is, it was the last time I told him that I do. It is not because I don't love him anymore. It's the other way around. It is because I LOVE HIM. I respect him. As simple as that. We are both drawn to a complicated situation. There is no better choice but to pursue the wedding and hence the marriage.